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    Improve your EQ fitness – Self reflection

    Few weeks back I wrote this blog post, Feeling- A vital part missing from the thinker’s head. Since then Tom made some progress. These days on the feeling question he responds with “good”, “bad” or “better”! I am so proud for him. Looks like he is ready for the next step of EQ fitness exercise. In case you are curious about my excitement with EQ, here is some data for your analytic brain.  Prominent psychologist Daniel Goleman found that Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ in achieving professional and personal success in our lives. EQ is the primary determinant of the quality of our relationships, at work and in our personal…

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    Work-life balance in my own backyard

    Among so many articles about work life balance, this one in HBR, the Imperfect balance between work and life caught my attention today. The main idea is 1. Pick few things that really need your focus 2. Delegate or let go others, and 3. Most importantly, embrace imperfection. The author found that one major hurdle for achieving work life balance is artificial images of perfection. She also points to the fact that, sometimes what is assumed to constitute perfection can be counter-productive. For example, keeping babies always in a sterile environment would make them less adaptable to the real world or delaying a product release would risk losing the market…

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    Alignment with Passion-Why it is important

    A client of mine is in the job market for a while.  A bit frustrated by the lack of success, he called me this morning wanting to find more ideas.  To get a grasp of where he is, I asked him a typical interview question, “Why do you want this job”? Quite prepared, he replied in an upbeat manner showing his credentials and skills relevant for the position.  So, what is missing from his response? You may have guessed it right; “passion” was the element I was after. When done with passion it makes a job or a task more exciting and meaningful.  With learned skills most of us can…

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    Feeling overwhelmed? You might be overloading your PFC

    Do you often feel overwhelmed? Do you wonder why it happens? Understanding a bit of how our brain works might give you some idea. The part of the brain behind our forehead is called the prefrontal cortex(PFC). PFC is a very small part compared to the rest of the brain (where permanent memory resides, in the form of patterns). PFC mainly performs the executive functions (processing, analysis, decision making etc.). PFC needs lots of energy to function, not only that, at a time it can handle only a few pieces of information, e.g. three numbers at a time. For example, think about a 10 digit phone number, when you have it like 4258234417 VS 425-821-4417, notice,…

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    The Happiness Quadrant

    Have you ever wondered if there is a mathematical representation for Happiness? The answer is Yes! Tal Ben-Shahar, a renowned researcher in positive psychology and a popular lecturer at Harvard represented happiness in terms of X-Y quadrant. Considering X being the present happiness and Y the future happiness, he said we need to have both of them positive to be happy. Imagine you are having a family trip to the Yellowstone National Park. You have got the time off from work, you got the money for the trip, made all the reservations and now you and your family have started the journey. It is a 12- hours’ drive, and you are…

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    Feeling- A vital part missing from the thinker’s head

    “What do you feel now?” I ask my client Tom in the middle of our session. “I think it is, …”, he replies. “What do you feel”, I ask persistently. “Well, I think it could be …”; little baffled, Tom reiterates his thoughts. In Tom’s mind “feeling” is a synonym of “thinking”, he(who is an engineer) lives and breathes in his head, the rest of the body underneath merely serves as a pedestal for his head! Tom is not alone. When I first came for my coach training I had hard time with these “feeling’ questions. I didn’t know much about it other than, feeling good or bad. Then when…

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    Too many to-dos… Not enough time…Cause or Symptom?

    My friend Amy calls herself lazy as she is always running behind her infinitely long to-dos. Even when she is sitting down she feels guilty that she was supposed to do something useful.  She says sorry a zillion times as she frequently cancels our coffee/phone chats at the last moment. Seeing her hyperactivity makes me feel underperformed:). I have been wondering why is that we are always behind despite all the hard work? Why she feels compelled to say “Yes” to every request? Recently found some answer from this article. Saying “Yes” 1. Avoids conflicts 2. Takes less time than pausing to decide whether or not the request is truly important 3.…

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    A Baby step isn’t just for the Babies

    In my 1:1 coaching and group classes I have been teaching this concept from TED on how to create your own vision (what do you want) and design baby steps to take you closer to that vision.  A baby step is not just the execution; the idea, the planning, even as simple as carving out a solid 30 min from your busy day to think about your vision could be a baby step. A baby step gives you more clarity about your vision; it gives you added experience and learning. Even when you fail, a conscious baby step always takes you closer to realizing your vision. Zynga CEO Mark Pincus said…

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    Overnight success- How realistic is that assumption?

    I sometimes wished one fine morning I will get the results I always wanted; I will get the solution of my problems. But alas it never happened that easily!  My grandma used to say, our luck is buried under a rock, and it requires lots of effort to get it out; whereas “others” have it under a leaf, a wind blows and they find their fortune! For many years I felt less fortunate as nothing came easy for me. As I grew older and learned a thing or two, I realized many of the cases of those “fortunate others” actually took a great deal of failures, sacrifices and extra efforts to get to where…

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    TED finds the lost ring

    I have been busy for this week’s webinar. The topic is from the Power of TED; Empowerment is all I have in my mind. I even empowerd myself to be okay with taking a break from my weekly posts. But then I found this gift, call it the law of attraction or anything else! Here it is:  When I was walking my daughter to school, I noticed she was holding the light-up ring in her hand (she bought it with her allowance money last week). I knew she misplaced it last night and had asked me about it. I got curious and asked her how she found it. She smiled wisely. “You know…