Ego awareness can be a great aid during conflicts. Professional mediator Diane Hamilton talks at Google. Few things I am taking away.
- Our primitive brain sees conflict as a threat. It is a useful practice to stop the thinking brain (usually negative thoughts), spend some time noticing the body sensation and only after that analyze the thoughts and come to a middle ground.
- Ego can be in different levels. Self, self and other, ethno centric, world centric and then cosmic centric. The wider it is the wiser it becomes! It is natural to be ego centric in the most threatening conflict situation. With practice on self awareness we can do better. In Google’s code review feedback example, ask this to yourself:
“How can I be aware of my colleagues’s feelings and at the same time give him/her feedback on the work he/she did so together we accomplish something for the greater good”?