Influence in the Workplace: From Self-Promotion to Shared Purpose

Influence is often defined as the capacity to affect the character, development, or behavior of an individual or entity. In the workplace, influence shows up every day — in decisions, conversations, and the way people rally around ideas.

Most of us care about influence because we want to be recognized as leaders, gain promotions, or take on larger roles that advance our careers. That’s a natural and understandable motivation. Yet, it’s also inherently self-focused.

The Paradox of True Influence

Dale Carnegie, the legendary author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, offered a counterintuitive insight. He said:

“By appealing to a person’s deep-seated desire for appreciation and by framing your own goals in terms of their interests, you can foster genuine connection and cooperation.”

Real influence, then, isn’t about persuading others to get what you want — it’s about making others feel heard and valued, aligning your goals with theirs.

That might sound manipulative at first. But genuine influence doesn’t come from pretending to care; it comes from actually caring — about others’ perspectives, needs, and growth.

To understand how this plays out in real workplaces, let’s use a lens from Dr. Jennifer Garvey Berger’s work on forms of mind — how people make meaning from their experiences.

Three Ways of Seeing the Same Situation

Consider a common scenario:

Alice just presented a nine-month project plan to her boss’s direct reports and several partner teams. During the discussion, Nathan, a peer, raised concerns that could require Alice to revisit certain aspects of the design.

How Alice interprets Nathan’s input determines her level of influence.

Scenario 1:
Alice feels threatened. She assumes Nathan is trying to undermine her or show off. His feedback becomes “proof” that he doesn’t support her.

Scenario 2:
Alice feels frustrated. She believes Nathan is creating unnecessary trouble and slowing down progress. To her, he’s not a team player.

Scenario 3:
Alice feels curious. She realizes Nathan’s concerns might reveal blind spots and help strengthen the plan. She doesn’t agree with everything, but she acknowledges the value in some of his points and thanks him for raising them.

Which Alice Has More Influence?

If you’re thinking Scenario 3, you’re right.

Alice in Scenario 3 influences not just through authority or expertise, but through mindset. She demonstrates curiosity, maturity, and the ability to integrate diverse input — traits that quietly build trust and credibility.

Many coaching clients I work with assume that if they deliver successful projects, their results will speak for themselves. But time and again, I hear the same frustration:

“I hit my goals — why am I not getting recognized?”

Their leaders often tell me, “It’s not just what they deliver, it’s how they do it.”

Influence isn’t measured by output alone; it’s shaped by relationships, collaboration, and how others experience working with you.

Influence as a Team Sport

Your mindset determines how you show up in those moments. When you approach others with curiosity and respect, you build collective strength — not competition. You elevate quality, foster development, and create a healthier team culture. That’s multi-fold influence.

In organizations, people naturally gravitate toward those who help them succeed. True influencers align teams organically — not through authority, but through empathy and clarity.

When critique or disagreement becomes a welcome addition rather than a personal threat, your influence expands exponentially.

Influence Is About Helping

Influence might sound abstract or political, but if you break it down, it’s really about helping — helping yourself, helping others, and helping the organization. It’s not a win-lose game; it’s a win-win-win.

It requires a broader perspective — one that looks beyond short-term wins to long-term impact. And yes, it often means leaning into discomfort, because growth and influence are born in the space between certainty and curiosity.

A Story from My Corporate Days

During my years at Microsoft, there was a performance review cycle where our team had to assign ratings. One colleague was about to leave the company to pursue higher education. Some leaders suggested giving him the lowest rating — not because of poor performance, but because his “long-term potential” within the organization was technically zero, as he would not be there.

On the surface, the reasoning was logical. But something about it didn’t sit right with me. I spoke up, asking, “What message are we sending if we rate him this way? What if this decision leaves a lasting negative impression — and he becomes a future customer or partner?”

There was an awkward silence. Many thought it wasn’t worth bringing up, but it made my manager pause and revisit. Ultimately, she changed the decision.

That day, I wasn’t influencing for personal gain. I was influencing on behalf of fairness, empathy, and the organization’s long-term reputation. It reminded me of Dale Carnegie’s timeless wisdom for influence: “Make others feel heard.” In this case, I stood up for those, including the organization we worked for, that were not in the room.

That small act of speaking up was a great example of influence — serving a larger purpose beyond my immediate interest.

The Mindset Shift

Influence isn’t about being the loudest voice or the most persuasive speaker. It’s about being the voice that brings perspective and balance.

It’s about creating space where others feel seen, heard, and valued — because that’s when people move, ideas grow, and change happens.

At its core, influence is not about power or self-interest — it’s about alignment with shared values and purpose.

When you focus on understanding others’ needs and aligning them with a greater purpose, you don’t just lead projects; you lead people, shape culture, and inspire trust that, in turn, creates multi-fold impact.
And that’s influence that lasts.

Reflection Questions:

• How do you usually interpret feedback or pushback at work?
  
• What kind of influence do you want to be known for?
  
• Where might curiosity serve you better than certainty?