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Feeling Anxious Setting Goals for The Year? Try These 3 Techniques
The common “water cooler” conversation around this time of the year is the New Year’s resolution. My standard answer used to be “be more organized,” which hardly happened! I was not lying though, I really felt I needed to have better control over my life, but honestly, I didn’t know how to do it. So I forgot about it even before I finished that cup of coffee I brought from the kitchen. I know many of you are in the same boat as I was. A Resolution sometimes gives us more anxiety and guilt than any meaningful outcome. Here are a few creative ways you may try this year: 1. Start…
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Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail and How to Make it Work
Almost half of the Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but fewer than 10% successfully achieve them(source)! The most popular resolutions are staying fit, work-life balance, and personal enrichment. All these are great resolutions to improve one’s quality of life. Then why the success rate is so low, and what can we do to beat that? One of my coaching clients set his goal to reduce his weight by going to the gym every day. Knowing that the key to setting achievable goals is to align them with one’s true essence, I asked him these clarifying questions: What is the bigger purpose it is aligned to? What will you feel when you…
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The False Dichotomy Between Success and Failure – They Are Not Opposite of Each Other
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”. Author and Harvard professor Sarah Lewis mentioned this famous Churchill quote in her book The Rise: Creativity, the Gift of Failure, and the Search for Mastery while making a case for mastery and continuous improvement over those success milestones we revere so greatly. Recently Stacy Abrams gave us a masterclass on turning failure into powerful learning. After her highly contested, narrow margin failure at the 2018 gubernatorial race, she focused on organizing at the grassroots level. Two years later, it resulted in Joe Biden’s historic win in Georgia. Abrams captured the process in her book, (After the loss) “I’ve…
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What Intrinsically Motivates Us (Hint: It’s not money)
David, a tech leader and a father of two, was in a big dilemma about a job offer. The money was higher than what he was making in his current job, but something else didn’t feel right. His friends said he should take it – “after all, you do the work for money, like a mercenary.” Humans are driven by only money and materialistic rewards is a false premise. Research shows that additional money doesn’t increase our motivation when we have enough money to meet our regular needs (higher than just basics). Especially if the work needs creativity or deep thinking, money doesn’t guarantee higher performance. In his book, Drive, Daniel…
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The Fuel of a Good Goal Is a Compelling Vision: 4 Ways to Craft
All of us are familiar with setting goals and achieving them. Goals are our vehicle to success. But often, we have a hard time making headways in our goals. The reason? Even in the best cases, they feel dry and do not invoke genuine enthusiasm. Here are four ways to set a meaningful goal connected to a compelling vision. Focus on the Emotional Connection How do you feel in your heart, gut, and body when you think about a goal? If it is neutral or negative, re-think. In a recent coaching session, my client Jordan was having difficulty making his goal a SMART goal. For starters, a SMART Goal is…
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Overcome Setbacks Using 3A’s : Acknowledge, Analyze and Act
Theresa has been feeling very down the last few days. Her manager informed her that she didn’t get the promotion this time. He was quite compassionate while giving her the bad news. Still, it is hard for her to overcome this feeling of defeat. At times it feels like a loss or a betrayal even. It is hard for her to be present for her family though they have understood her disappointment. Theresa’s situation may sound familiar to many of you. As grown-ups, we know that everyone goes through such setbacks once in a while. Depending on our resilience, the level of suffering varies, and we come out to the other…
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Reconnect With Self – A Leadership Lesson from CBS’s Madam Secretary
In an episode of CBS’s Madam Secretary (Meaning of Life, May 13th, 2018), there is a side story where Russell Jackson was prescribed by his doctor to find a relaxing activity because of his heart condition. His intern Stevie was to find something not too “touchy-feely” exercise for him. Stevie was going for all the well-researched activities like yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, etc., none of which land well with Russell. Stevie’s Dad, Henry McCord, came to rescue. He told Stevie, “All these practices are a warm-up for the big question, the Spiritual journey. All his life Russel avoided it. He might drive himself to an early grave, trying to avoid it.”…
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Are You a Mom, Thinking of Going Back to Work?
Rebecca was a 39-year-old woman and a mother of two (8 and 10). She had a college degree and a 10-year of corporate experience. Rebecca was happily married to her husband Bob who made a handsome six-figure income, they were comfortably living an upper-middle-class life in a suburban town in the Seattle area. The only downside, Rebecca took an 8-year break after she had her second child and she was feeling lost about how to go back to work. It was clear that making money was not the main concern for Rebecca. Though some income of her own would have helped her self-esteem, “I want to have something to use my…
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What Makes Seahawks’ Pete Carroll A Great Leader
The Seahawks began the 2020 season with a good all-around showing in a 38-25 win over the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday (source). Amid the Covid-19 pandemic and the more recent massive wildfire all through the west coast, this victory has brought some well-deserved breeze of fresh air among the Seahawks fan in the region. Those who have been following may know that Seahawks’ head coach for the last ten years, Pete Carroll, has been the catalyst behind the team’s rise. It got me thinking, what can corporate and business leaders learn from him. The one answer I got is his self-awareness, clear sense of purpose, and the genuine desire of…
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A Happiness Model For the Graph Lovers
Have you ever wondered if there is a mathematical representation of Happiness? The answer is Yes! Tal Ben-Shahar, a renowned researcher in positive psychology and a popular lecturer at Harvard, represented Happiness in terms of the X-Y quadrant. Considering X being the present Happiness and Y the future Happiness, he said we need to have both of them +ve to be happy. Imagine you are going for a family trip to the Yellowstone National Park. You have got the time off from work, you got the money for the trip, made all the reservations, and now you and your family have started the journey. It is a 12- hours’ drive,…
