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How Not To Think About An Elephant – A Neuroscience Way To Attain Goals
What if I say, “Do not think about an elephant?” – I bet all you will think of is an elephant or several elephants in your mind. Well, it turns out that’s just how our brains work. When we tell ourselves not to do something, our brains don’t know what to do with that information. So, instead of ignoring what we try to avoid, our minds focus more on it. There’s a name for this phenomenon: Ironic mental control. Our brains have two systems for controlling our thoughts and behaviors. The first system directs our attention and actions toward our goals, while the second system monitors us for errors. When…
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Career satisfaction, Coaching, Executive Presence, Happiness, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy, Time Management, WorkLife balance
Are You Sabotaged By Your Inner Hyper-Achiever?
A tech leader, let’s call him Jason, said, “I can’t relax; I always have to do something useful. Nobody makes me do so; it’s me. This is how I am”. Jason is not alone. Many of us have such hyper achievers in us, pushing us to do more. This trait may have helped us be where we are, yet its overuse can cause more harm than good. Growing up, we all developed different traits that kept us safe, got us what we needed, and helped us succeed. Other than the hyper-achiever, there are several additional traits: pleaser, perfectionist, and victim, to name a few. My top two are hyper-achiever and…
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How to Approach Difficult Conversations When It’s Uncomfortable
Are you dreading a challenging conversation, particularly in a work setting? Do you fear that it might not go as planned? You’re certainly not alone; many of us share this apprehension. Based on the experiences of my clients, here are some common reasons for avoiding difficult conversations: Consider the skill of difficult conversation as a learning process akin to learning how to play the piano. Just as a beginner can’t effortlessly play an entire song, you may not handle difficult conversations smoothly initially. However, with preparation and discipline, you can gradually navigate these conversations, even if the experience isn’t always seamless. As you continue to prepare and apply your learning…
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Want to Take Your Career to the Next Level? Manage Your Attention Wisely
“I don’t have the time to pause and think; my days are filled with back-to-back meetings. When someone asks me a question, I tell them what I know and go to my next meeting. I feel like I am fire-fighting”. Adrian, a senior director of a Fortune 100 company, told me this during our recent conversation. He is not alone. If you are even moderately successful, back-to-back meetings are a reality of your life. The more damaging part is that this constant demand for our attention reduces our ability to deep thinking. As a result, we end up exhausted, creating the same old results we did the last year. There…
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You were given Feedback to Improve your Executive Presence – What do you do now?
The other day, a senior leader contacted me to hire me as his coach. His LinkedIn Profile was immaculate – multiple graduate degrees from top-notch schools and a strong track record of professional work in his relevant field. He was given feedback to improve his Executive Presence (EP). However, he didn’t know what that actually meant. After further conversation, we discovered that during meetings with senior leadership, his challenge was thinking on his feet and being clear and concise in his delivery. Here is an example from another client; let us call him Joe. Joe was doing a presentation on the next direction of their product. Towards the middle, his…
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Job Searching for a Career Path Change? Act Like a Farmer
A job change is a daunting task. It becomes even more challenging when it involves a discipline, industry, or role change. A common misconception is one can do it by keyword search and then submitting resumes through the job boards; it is like throwing spaghetti on the wall and seeing what sticks. For those wanting a career path change, this rarely gives a positive outcome and becomes very frustrating. I met a leader at a non-profit; let’s call her Tricia. Tricia wanted to move to the for-profit sector. She had been applying through the job boards but didn’t get much traction. On top of her super busy schedule, this was…
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Idea Dating: Tap Your Network for Clearer Insights
During a recent coaching session, my client Francis had an eye-opening moment. Despite consistently positive performance reviews, he no longer found satisfaction in his current role. When I asked what he wanted, he sighed and said he didn’t know exactly. However, he did have a clear image in mind: It entitled a broader scope, involving strategy and collaboration with a close-knit small group of passionate people. He thought he should look for job openings in small companies and interview. But the prospect didn’t encourage him at all. Shifting gears, I inquired about his past experiences with making changes. He mentioned that friends and former colleagues had been instrumental in sparking…
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Overcome Setbacks Using 3A’s : Acknowledge, Analyze and Act
Theresa has been feeling significantly down the last few days. Her manager informed her that she didn’t get the promotion this time. He was pretty compassionate while giving her the bad news. Still, it is hard for her to overcome this feeling of defeat. At times it feels like a loss or a betrayal even. It is hard for her to be present for her family though they understand her disappointment. Theresa’s situation may sound familiar to many of you. As grown-ups, we know that everyone goes through such setbacks once in a while. Depending on our resilience, the level of suffering varies, and we come out to the other…
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Sustainable Success: The Multifaceted Journey Beyond Social Media Posts
It is the season of job promotions. I’ve been getting several such news through LinkedIn posts from my clients. However, these celebratory posts only scratch the surface of their entire journey. When we see things only from the outside through a social media post, we sometimes fail to grasp the totality of the story. We might even feel a little green with envy or bummed out because we’re comparing our everyday grind to someone else’s highlight reel. We just hit “Like” or write “Congratulations” and move on with our day. As their coach, when I see those announcements, I’m transported back to their journey’s inception, reflecting on the intentional efforts,…
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Career satisfaction, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy
Organization Politics – How We See It Can Change the Meaning
“I like doing my job, but I hate politics. Almost everyone says that they hate politics. If no one likes it, then who creates it in the first place”? My friend Barb uttered this with a big sigh as she and I met over coffee on a sunny spring afternoon. We commonly use the term “politics” to describe people’s actions to advance their self-interest at the cost of their coworkers’ interests. It is a win-lose game driven by the intention of gaining something for a selfish purpose. As someone who spent 20+ years inside organizations and then coaching organization leaders, I get curious about this. Barb’s comment made me ponder…
