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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Career satisfaction, Communication, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, Personal Brand, Self-leadership
Is “Authenticity” Backfiring On You? Here Is Why
During a meeting, Prakash, a Vice President, expressed frustration with his team’s lack of progress. This cost him a promotion. Theresa, a senior developer at a tech firm, was encouraged to be authentic at work. Taking this to heart, she started to express her opinions passionately. However, her colleagues perceived her openness as naysaying, alienating her from the rest of the team. Jim, a product manager, felt alone because he advocated for what he believed was the right quality bar, while others stayed quiet, seemingly content with “mediocre” standards. What do these three stories have in common? Each individual believed they were being authentic by sharing their true thoughts and…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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Beyond Success: The Path to Significance
A few months ago, I met Megan, a high-achieving corporate leader in her early forties, happily married with two young kids. Despite her stellar success, she felt like she was on an endless treadmill with no clear direction. This is not uncommon among high-achievers like Megan. Throughout her life, she has always known her next goal and pursued it with determination and discipline. I shared the theory of life stages—Survival, Success, and Significance—with her. The Success stage is characterized by material wealth, comfort, and success. Most of us aim to achieve this stage and want to continue this pursuit. However, sometimes, we wonder why we don’t feel fulfilled. This lack…
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High Achievers’ Burnout: Let’s Invest in Human Skills In the Era of AI
Recently, I had a session with Ana, a highly accomplished Vice President at a corporate firm. Ana looked exhausted. She understands she’s been overworking, leaving no room for rest and recuperation. Despite this awareness, her inner worry about disappointing others prevents her from relaxing, even after logging off in the evening. This constant pressure is pushing her towards extreme exhaustion and burnout. Ana’s experience is far from unique. Harsha Perera’s article on the different paths to burnout highlights white-collar burnout, a form of exhaustion not due to physically demanding tasks but rather psychological and existential pressures. This burnout stems from the relentless need to prove one’s worth by achieving certain…
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Beyond Busy: Transforming Work Habits with Neuroscience Insights
In a recent coaching session, Tatiyana, a senior director at a leading global engineering company, opened up about a pressing issue: “I’m grappling with two primary challenges. Firstly, it’s incredibly hard to progress in my big project when my day is full of meetings. Secondly, even after delivering a high-stakes project, I struggle to focus on the next task as my mind continues to dwell on the previous one.” Worried about its impact on her productivity, she sought guidance. This challenge is common for many professionals today, grappling with a relentless schedule of meetings and complex tasks. But here’s the kicker—it’s not a personal deficiency; instead, it’s intricately linked to…
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5 Barriers To Effective Listening
In today’s ever-evolving landscape, effective listening has emerged as a crucial skill for leaders. Yet, it remains a challenge for many. What stands in the way? While lack of trust, negative stereotypes, superiority, fear, and ego are significant barriers, other subtler tendencies hinder us even in more favorable environments. In this article, I delve into these subtle ones, which diminish listening for even well-meaning individuals in living rooms, boardrooms, and Zoom meetings. 1: Under time pressure When you feel you are under time pressure, you rush to respond without taking the time to understand the speaker’s intention or state of mind. 2: Fractional listening You listen as much as you…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Executive Presence, Leadership, Self-leadership, Success Strategy
Navigating a New Boss? Trust the Leader in You
Susan has been a valued member of the company for quite some time. However, the arrival of a new boss has brought unexpected challenges. This leader, who is reserved and prefers pushing their agenda without much dialogue, has left Susan feeling as though she must prove herself once again. The weight of this challenge is draining, and Susan finds herself unsure if she has the energy to overcome yet another hurdle. This scenario is all too familiar, a narrative I often encounter. While leaders are responsible for fostering engagement and validation within their teams, it’s essential to remember that we also hold power and responsibility in improving relationships. Susan’s sense…
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Relentless Self-Development may Diminish Your Potential
In this “growth mindset” and “learn it all” era, it’s often easy to be driven by our inner critic in disguise of all those positive things. “What do you mean”? You might ask. Allow me to illustrate this with Greg’s experience as a senior director at a telecommunication company. In our coaching session, he shared how he managed a difficult conversation at work, ultimately bringing a positive outcome. But as he talked about it, he was fixated on where he could have done better. So, I got curious and presented my observation. He was taken aback. Baffled, he said, I always strive for better, which made me successful. Always striving…
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Are You an Emerging Leader Seeking Next Level of Growth?
Are you an ambitious mid-career professional in tech, STEM, or any high-paced culture? Do you long to make a meaningful, fulfilling impact? Many, like you, sometimes wonder what else they must do to propel themselves to the next level. Given that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, we can’t scale ourselves just by working more hours. Our brain can’t stay productive like that anyway. So what can we do about it? Like the famous book title by Marshall Goldsmith, “What got you here won’t take you there,” there is something else that will prepare us for the next level of growth. After coaching so many senior leaders,…