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What Driving Teaches Us About Navigating Our Careers
I was chatting with Andrea, a senior director at a major corporation in Seattle. Brilliant and hardworking, her resume spoke volumes about her accomplishments. Yet, in this new role, she was hitting unexpected roadblocks. The feedback she received was clear: people didn’t understand the value she was bringing to the organization, and her contributions were flying under the radar. Andrea believed the solution was simple—if only she could be more vocal in meetings and better at promoting her achievements. But deep down, she wasn’t confident in her contributions either. Most of her time was spent stabilizing her team, handling layoffs, and navigating an organization with shifting priorities and limited resources.…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Leadership, Neuroscience, Self-leadership
Demystifying Executive Presence
A senior engineering leader reached out to me for coaching. His credentials were impeccable—multiple graduate degrees from prestigious universities and an impressive professional track record. Yet, he was told to improve his Executive Presence (EP). His question? “What does that even mean?“ Through our conversation, we identified his challenge: he struggled to deliver his points with clarity and conciseness during senior leadership meetings. This reminded me of another client—let’s call him Joe, a senior product manager. Joe was in the middle of a presentation when his VP interrupted, asking for the bottom line. Frustrated, Joe thought, Why won’t he let me finish my presentation? Later, when he shared this with…
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Falling Behind on New Year’s Goals? Here’s How to Bounce Back
Did you know that most New Year’s resolutions don’t make it past spring? According to a Forbes Health/OnePoll survey, the average resolution lasts just 3.74 months, with 65% of people abandoning their goals within four months. To make matters worse, unofficial holidays like “Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day” (January 17) and “Quitter’s Day” (the second Friday in January) highlight how quickly motivation can fade. If you’ve already started wavering on your resolutions, don’t worry—you’re not alone. More importantly, you’re not doomed to fail. Understanding the root causes behind these setbacks allows you to adjust your approach and set yourself up for success. Here are the three key reasons resolutions often…
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Reflect and Rejoice: Celebrate Your Year Through Reflection
As the year winds down, many of us find ourselves juggling last-minute deadlines, holiday preparations, and the anticipation of spending quality time with loved ones. Amid this busy season, carving out moments for a year-end reflection can be a transformative practice. It offers a chance to celebrate your journey, gain clarity on your growth, and lay the foundation for intentional goals in the new year. Taking the time to pause and ask, “How did the year unfold for me?” can lead to valuable insights. However, relying solely on memory might not provide a comprehensive view. A structured approach can help uncover hidden patterns, achievements, and lessons from the past year.…
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Why Goals Often Fails—and How to Build Habits That Stick
Have you ever worked on a leadership goal like improving your executive presence or a personal goal such as eating healthy? The usual advice on achieving goals is to “break your goals into smaller steps,” which sounds wise but may not work in such cases. It assumes the task is linear, such as climbing stairs, where each step is identical, and you make linear progress with each step. We often assume it can be achieved through sheer willpower or pushing harder. But if we treat a habit such as an exercise regimen as linear, like putting on exercise clothes, going to the gym, and performing the exercise, we oversimplify the problem.…
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From Chaos to Connection: Gracefully Managing the Holiday Family Gatherings
Managing family visits during the holiday season presents a delightful yet demanding task. Juggling multiple family members’ diverse opinions, needs, and desires can be an energy-draining experience for hosts and guests alike. Take, for example, my client Fernandez, who was planning to host his parents, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew for a ten-day holiday stay. Being a meticulous planner, he anticipated the potential chaos and asked for guidance in a session with me to prepare for the upcoming gathering. Later, he said that the preparation helped him stay composed and enhanced the enjoyment of the time spent together. If you are like Fernandez, you may adopt some of these strategies for…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Career satisfaction, Communication, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, Personal Brand, Self-leadership
Is “Authenticity” Backfiring On You? Here Is Why
During a meeting, Prakash, a Vice President, expressed frustration with his team’s lack of progress. This cost him a promotion. Theresa, a senior developer at a tech firm, was encouraged to be authentic at work. Taking this to heart, she started to express her opinions passionately. However, her colleagues perceived her openness as naysaying, alienating her from the rest of the team. Jim, a product manager, felt alone because he advocated for what he believed was the right quality bar, while others stayed quiet, seemingly content with “mediocre” standards. What do these three stories have in common? Each individual believed they were being authentic by sharing their true thoughts and…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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Beyond Success: The Path to Significance
A few months ago, I met Megan, a high-achieving corporate leader in her early forties, happily married with two young kids. Despite her stellar success, she felt like she was on an endless treadmill with no clear direction. This is not uncommon among high-achievers like Megan. Throughout her life, she has always known her next goal and pursued it with determination and discipline. I shared the theory of life stages—Survival, Success, and Significance—with her. The Success stage is characterized by material wealth, comfort, and success. Most of us aim to achieve this stage and want to continue this pursuit. However, sometimes, we wonder why we don’t feel fulfilled. This lack…
