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What Can We Learn From Will Smith’s Oscar Debacle
[I originally wrote this after the Oscars last year (March 2022).] Since the Oscars, my newsfeed has been flooded with the news and commentary about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock on stage when he made a rather insensitive joke about Will’s wife, Jada. Smith later apologized to Rock. “I was out of line, and I was wrong. I am embarrassed, and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness… I am a work in progress.” While this is celebrity news, we can relate to such incidents. Maybe not every one of us gets…
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What Simone Biles, Jacinda Ardern, and Naomi Osaka Taught Us
Simone Biles, Jacinda Ardern, and Naomi Osaka share a common trait – they all made a courageous decision to quit, to say “no” despite the societal pressure to keep pushing forward, even when at the peak of their careers. Jacinda Ardern stated, “I no longer have enough in the tank to do the job justice,” Simon Biles said she was not in the right mental place to continue, and Naomi Osaka declined to face the press, saying it was “damaging to the mental health.” It requires a different kind of courage to say “No” and stop, especially when the prevailing culture tells us otherwise. Many people struggle to give themselves…
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A Smile is a Leadership Tool
I recently had a coaching session with a tech leader who expressed a strong desire to enhance his approachability. While he was committed to delivering high-quality products, he was aware that his intense focus on quality sometimes came across as inflexible and intimidating. As a coach, I work with various personalities, and my approach is to identify the strengths of each individual. So I was not surprised that he appeared stiff in our call, and I had to avoid being influenced by it. But as the call progressed, I noticed a positive shift in his demeanor. He seemed more relaxed and even had a smile on his face. I shared…
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Three Strategies That Reduced Stress for a Busy Executive
Sheela, a senior executive at a renowned Fortune 500 company, sought my coaching services to improve her quality of life. She said her demanding job was taking a toll on her. Early morning meetings disrupted her morning self-care routine, and recent layoffs added even more stress to her already crazy schedule. As a result, Sheela felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and helpless. Sheela’s story is all too common among high-achieving professionals. Running after work deliverables alone was no longer feeding her soul; she valued her relationships with her family, friends, and team. Balancing these different areas of her life became a challenge, but with coaching, Sheela could find a way to improve…
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Goal Setting Is Not Just A New Year Thing
My January was quite busy with returning from vacation (an international trip) and giving back-to-back corporate workshops. So the schedule was a bit tight, but the process of designing and delivering those workshops has been very fulfilling and meaningful for me. As I reflected, it hit me that I envisioned something like this about 8-9 years ago, and that vision is a reality now! Even though I delivered many webinars and workshops over the years, that original vision is still a powerful reminder. But, very rarely, we think of a goal like that. Especially during the beginning of the year, goals and resolutions are hyper-focus for many of us. The…
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Why Self-Promotion is Hard, And What To Do About It?
Recently, a friend and I talked about something she was anxious about. In the end, she felt much more relaxed and confident and said, “Thank you, Sharmin, you are so good.” I replied, “Yes, I am; I love helping people be their best, and thank you for noticing it.” If it were ten years ago, I would have said, “I didn’t do anything,” or some other self-diminishing version of it. It took me a lot of self-work to discover my strengths and own them unapologetically. That’s why I get passionate when clients come to me with the challenge, “I am not good at self-promotion; it is against my upbringing, but…
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My Podcast Interview: Resilience Inside and Out
Earlier this month, a fellow leadership coach, Nina Simonds invited me to her podcast, Let’s Get Real. Nina started this series in 2020 because, as she wrote, “I love having REAL conversations with people who inspire me. In my 20+ years as a leadership and relationship coach, I experience the most flow when I am learning in a community with others. Let’s Get Real is a place where my guests and I explore personal experiences that have been catalysts for our own growth. We also explore and share some of the tools that help us see others more fully and give us the confidence to lead and love well.” In…
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Self-Promotion Doesn’t Have to Be Selfish
A couple of years ago, I ran a survey among tech professionals, and it came out that “Managing up/Self-promotion” was the top concern. I was not too surprised. Talking about ourselves seems opposite to humility – it contradicts our values, yet managing up is essential for reward and recognition. Over the years, I learned that it might feel more altruistic if we see it as helping our managers and others do their job better. When I became a manager for the first time at a large corporation, I got a new team from another division. Since it was close to the annual review time, their previous manager prepared their performance data for me to submit…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a long-tenured senior officer at a commercial bank. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others both at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers as she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (her adult siblings) and colleagues were also pretty strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense…
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Conversations To Foster Greater Understanding
Recently this post by an organizational psychologist at Wharton, Adam Grant, went viral on LinkedIn. He said: The clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn’t agreeing with someone. It’s enjoying your disagreements with them. Harmony is the pleasing arrangement of different tones, voices, or instruments, not the combination of identical sounds. Creative tension makes beautiful music. I commented there, which became most popular on that post (80+ likes and 20 comments). I would add, keeping the intention of understanding as the purpose, and not so much of agreement or disagreement. That way, it becomes less subjective. For example: instead of “I disagree,” one can say, “Can you give me an example where…
