EQ
Emotional Intelligence, EI
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Leadership, Neuroscience, Self-leadership
Demystifying Executive Presence
A senior engineering leader reached out to me for coaching. His credentials were impeccable—multiple graduate degrees from prestigious universities and an impressive professional track record. Yet, he was told to improve his Executive Presence (EP). His question? “What does that even mean?“ Through our conversation, we identified his challenge: he struggled to deliver his points with clarity and conciseness during senior leadership meetings. This reminded me of another client—let’s call him Joe, a senior product manager. Joe was in the middle of a presentation when his VP interrupted, asking for the bottom line. Frustrated, Joe thought, Why won’t he let me finish my presentation? Later, when he shared this with…
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My Holiday Knitting Project and The Threads of Life
Crochet and knitting have become my cherished hobbies, a comforting ritual during the holiday season. Growing up, I often watched my mom knit cozy sweaters for us and other family members. Her steady hands and creative spirit inspired me, and now I find joy in carrying on that tradition. This year, I picked on a special project: knitting a scarf for my college-going daughter, who is home for the Holidays. She excitedly chose a yarn from my collection—two beautifully contrasting shades that perfectly reflected her vibrant personality. I started the project knowing I would need to buy more to complete the scarf. So I went to the local craft store,…
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Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Happiness, Leadership, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy
Why High Achievers Overextend—and How to Break the Cycle
Julia was a director of engineering at a Fortune 500 company, a mother of two, and a caregiver for her aging mother. Her life was a whirlwind of work deadlines, doctor appointments, and organizing elaborate birthday parties and other social commitments. Despite her accomplishments, Julia felt perpetually behind and emotionally drained. Many of us could relate to Julia’s story. Why We Overextend Ourselves While growing up, we are taught to share our resources, care for others, attend to our responsibilities, and delay gratification. These values shaped us into productive, reliable individuals. But eventually, as successful adults, when we double down on putting external expectations ahead of personal well-being, we push…
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5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with tech leaders and executives, I’ve helped them uncover hidden misconceptions and limiting behaviors that often hold them back. Many of these leaders were already highly successful, yet by identifying and addressing these patterns, they found new ways to accelerate their growth more sustainably and more fulfilling. Recognizing these blind spots allowed them to approach challenges with greater clarity, adaptability, and confidence. Based on these experiences, I’ve summarized the five most common limiting patterns that, when overcome, can elevate leadership impact and personal fulfillment. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations Many of us begin by focusing on what’s expected of us, conforming to…
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Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Lessons from National to Personal Level
The U.S. presidential election, a defining moment that shapes the nation’s future, has tested the resilience of Americans in profound ways. Whether viewed through the lens of political upheaval, economic concerns, or polarization gripping communities, the experience underscores a larger truth: resilience is not just a collective necessity but a personal and professional one. As we navigate these shared challenges, the lessons we draw extend to our individual lives, influencing how we face adversity and adapt to change. The American Psychological Association’s (APA) latest Stress in America survey reveals a stark reality: 77% of adults cite the nation’s future as a significant source of stress, followed closely by concerns over…
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Facing Results vs. Relationships Tension? The Answer is to Integrate, Not Choose
Soren was recently promoted to a new leadership role, managing some of his former peers. One of them had also been a contender for the same position. Determined to excel, Soren committed to giving his best effort. He relied on his tried-and-true method of thorough preparation, getting straight to the point without wasting time, hoping to appear competent and in control. However, he quickly noticed that his team members were reluctant to engage, leaving him feeling disconnected and frustrated. This tension between achieving results and nurturing relationships is a common challenge for leaders. Many believe you can’t be kind if you hold people accountable for results. This false dichotomy often…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Overcome Setbacks Using 3As : Acknowledge, Analyze and Act
Peter has been feeling down for the past few days after learning he didn’t get the promotion he was counting on. The disappointment hit him hard, leaving him with a sense of defeat, like a profound loss or betrayal. This emotional weight has made it difficult for him to be fully present with his family despite their understanding. Peter’s situation is one many of us can relate to. As adults, we all face setbacks from time to time. Our ability to navigate these challenges often hinges on our resilience. However, moving forward can be more manageable when we break it down into three key steps: Acknowledge, Analyze, and Act –…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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Applying Engineering Principles To Solve People Issues
Ron, an engineering manager, faced a persistent challenge with one of his direct reports, Jackson. Jackson’s behavior left Ron questioning his motivation and even his competency. Despite Jackson’s belief that he was doing well, Ron and others saw things differently. Struggling to address this without creating conflict, Ron resorted to giving indirect advice about being more patient and a team player, but nothing seemed to work. Sound familiar? Many engineering managers encounter similar struggles. The core of the issue often lies in: “How do I provide feedback that the other person will accept and act on?” While common feedback strategies like being timely and actionable are important, there’s another highly…
