EQ
Emotional Intelligence, EI
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5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with tech leaders and executives, I’ve helped them uncover hidden misconceptions and limiting behaviors that often hold them back. Many of these leaders were already highly successful, yet by identifying and addressing these patterns, they found new ways to accelerate their growth more sustainably and more fulfilling. Recognizing these blind spots allowed them to approach challenges with greater clarity, adaptability, and confidence. Based on these experiences, I’ve summarized the five most common limiting patterns that, when overcome, can elevate leadership impact and personal fulfillment. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations Many of us begin by focusing on what’s expected of us, conforming to…
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Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Lessons from National to Personal Level
The U.S. presidential election, a defining moment that shapes the nation’s future, has tested the resilience of Americans in profound ways. Whether viewed through the lens of political upheaval, economic concerns, or polarization gripping communities, the experience underscores a larger truth: resilience is not just a collective necessity but a personal and professional one. As we navigate these shared challenges, the lessons we draw extend to our individual lives, influencing how we face adversity and adapt to change. The American Psychological Association’s (APA) latest Stress in America survey reveals a stark reality: 77% of adults cite the nation’s future as a significant source of stress, followed closely by concerns over…
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Facing Results vs. Relationships Tension? The Answer is to Integrate, Not Choose
Soren was recently promoted to a new leadership role, managing some of his former peers. One of them had also been a contender for the same position. Determined to excel, Soren committed to giving his best effort. He relied on his tried-and-true method of thorough preparation, getting straight to the point without wasting time, hoping to appear competent and in control. However, he quickly noticed that his team members were reluctant to engage, leaving him feeling disconnected and frustrated. This tension between achieving results and nurturing relationships is a common challenge for leaders. Many believe you can’t be kind if you hold people accountable for results. This false dichotomy often…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Overcome Setbacks Using 3As : Acknowledge, Analyze and Act
Peter has been feeling down for the past few days after learning he didn’t get the promotion he was counting on. The disappointment hit him hard, leaving him with a sense of defeat, like a profound loss or betrayal. This emotional weight has made it difficult for him to be fully present with his family despite their understanding. Peter’s situation is one many of us can relate to. As adults, we all face setbacks from time to time. Our ability to navigate these challenges often hinges on our resilience. However, moving forward can be more manageable when we break it down into three key steps: Acknowledge, Analyze, and Act –…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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Applying Engineering Principles To Solve People Issues
Ron, an engineering manager, faced a persistent challenge with one of his direct reports, Jackson. Jackson’s behavior left Ron questioning his motivation and even his competency. Despite Jackson’s belief that he was doing well, Ron and others saw things differently. Struggling to address this without creating conflict, Ron resorted to giving indirect advice about being more patient and a team player, but nothing seemed to work. Sound familiar? Many engineering managers encounter similar struggles. The core of the issue often lies in: “How do I provide feedback that the other person will accept and act on?” While common feedback strategies like being timely and actionable are important, there’s another highly…
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Relentless Self-Development may Diminish Your Potential
In this “growth mindset” and “learn it all” era, it’s often easy to be driven by our inner critic in disguise of all those positive things. “What do you mean”? You might ask. Allow me to illustrate this with Greg’s experience as a senior director at a telecommunication company. In our coaching session, he shared how he managed a difficult conversation at work, ultimately bringing a positive outcome. But as he talked about it, he was fixated on where he could have done better. So, I got curious and presented my observation. He was taken aback. Baffled, he said, I always strive for better, which made me successful. Always striving…
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Job Interview: Is Your Eagerness Hindering Your Presence?
Vinod, a director-level leader in Tech, had been searching for a job for some time without much success. Perplexed, he sought my advice to determine what else he could do. When I inquired about his interview preparation routine, he mentioned reviewing his resume and portfolio to discuss his accomplishments. Knowing his strengths in this area from previous encounters, I probed further. I asked Vinod what he looked for in a candidate when he hired someone for his team. He explained that he sought candidates with a strong track record and noted their attitude toward challenges during interviews. He emphasized the importance of understanding how candidates approached problems, even if they…
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My Learnings From Turning A Cynic Into A Collaborator
Imagine you shared an idea with a co-worker, and they said, “That’s a terrible idea.” How would you feel? Most of us would feel discouragement and react with either active or passive anger, ultimately hindering our progress. However, what if I were to propose that there is an alternative path where handling the situation with grace can indeed lead to progress? Stay curious and engaged, and keep your larger vision in mind. It will help you to overcome such obstacles and make progress. I encountered a similar experience a few weeks ago. Even though I was the leader of the team (higher status), anyone, irrespective of their position/status, could benefit…
