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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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High Achievers’ Burnout: Let’s Invest in Human Skills In the Era of AI
Recently, I had a session with Ana, a highly accomplished Vice President at a corporate firm. Ana looked exhausted. She understands she’s been overworking, leaving no room for rest and recuperation. Despite this awareness, her inner worry about disappointing others prevents her from relaxing, even after logging off in the evening. This constant pressure is pushing her towards extreme exhaustion and burnout. Ana’s experience is far from unique. Harsha Perera’s article on the different paths to burnout highlights white-collar burnout, a form of exhaustion not due to physically demanding tasks but rather psychological and existential pressures. This burnout stems from the relentless need to prove one’s worth by achieving certain…
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Beyond Busy: Transforming Work Habits with Neuroscience Insights
In a recent coaching session, Tatiyana, a senior director at a leading global engineering company, opened up about a pressing issue: “I’m grappling with two primary challenges. Firstly, it’s incredibly hard to progress in my big project when my day is full of meetings. Secondly, even after delivering a high-stakes project, I struggle to focus on the next task as my mind continues to dwell on the previous one.” Worried about its impact on her productivity, she sought guidance. This challenge is common for many professionals today, grappling with a relentless schedule of meetings and complex tasks. But here’s the kicker—it’s not a personal deficiency; instead, it’s intricately linked to…
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Job Interview: Is Your Eagerness Hindering Your Presence?
Vinod, a director-level leader in Tech, had been searching for a job for some time without much success. Perplexed, he sought my advice to determine what else he could do. When I inquired about his interview preparation routine, he mentioned reviewing his resume and portfolio to discuss his accomplishments. Knowing his strengths in this area from previous encounters, I probed further. I asked Vinod what he looked for in a candidate when he hired someone for his team. He explained that he sought candidates with a strong track record and noted their attitude toward challenges during interviews. He emphasized the importance of understanding how candidates approached problems, even if they…
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Career satisfaction, Coaching, Happiness, Leadership, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration, WorkLife balance
Foundation for Growth: Four Simple Practices Make My Clients Successful
People come to coaching for many reasons. Some want to lead a significant change management initiative, while others want to improve team productivity or develop leadership skills for the next promotion. Whatever the reason, one needs to create the foundation for growth to achieve these outward goals. These building blocks – mindfulness, intentional focus, reflection, and self-care – are essential for coaching success. 1. Mindfulness Mindfulness serves as the cornerstone of this foundation. In a world where we often operate on autopilot or react to external demands, we must pause and ground ourselves. By incorporating bite-sized mindfulness practices, my clients gain the capacity to observe their thoughts and emotions rather…
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What Causes Conflicts In Teams
No one wakes up thinking, “I will ruin the day; I will create trouble today.” But even when everyone on the team is decent, stress, conflicts, and drama happen. I have identified a few underlying causes behind them. For this article, I am leaving out the toxic cultures where the main actors are ego, selfish interest, and lack of trust. On a team I led, there was a very energetic, proactive, independent-minded person who was very good at generating ideas and following through with them without help. Let’s call him Ron. I felt lucky to have Ron on the team. But the problem was that some other folks were annoyed;…
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From Chaos to Connection: Gracefully Managing the Holiday Family Gatherings
Managing family visits during the holiday season presents a delightful yet demanding task. Juggling multiple family members’ diverse opinions, needs, and desires can be an energy-draining experience for hosts and guests alike. Take, for example, my client Fernandez, who was planning to host his parents, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew for a ten-day holiday stay. Being a meticulous planner, he anticipated the potential chaos and asked for guidance in a session with me to prepare for the upcoming gathering. Later, he said that the preparation helped him stay composed and enhanced the enjoyment of the time spent together. If you are like Fernandez, you may adopt some of these strategies for…
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Three Strategies That Reduced Stress for a Busy Executive
Sheela, a senior executive at a renowned Fortune 500 company, sought my coaching services to improve her quality of life. She said her demanding job was taking a toll on her. Early morning meetings disrupted her morning self-care routine, and recent layoffs added even more stress to her already crazy schedule. As a result, Sheela felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and helpless. Sheela’s story is all too common among high-achieving professionals. Running after work deliverables alone was no longer feeding her soul; she valued her relationships with her family, friends, and team. Balancing these different areas of her life became a challenge, but with coaching, Sheela could find a way to improve…
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Career satisfaction, Coaching, Executive Presence, Happiness, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy, Time Management, WorkLife balance
Are You Sabotaged By Your Inner Hyper-Achiever?
A tech leader, let’s call him Jason, said, “I can’t relax; I always have to do something useful. Nobody makes me do so; it’s me. This is how I am”. Jason is not alone. Many of us have such hyper achievers in us, pushing us to do more. This trait may have helped us be where we are, yet its overuse can cause more harm than good. Growing up, we all developed different traits that kept us safe, got us what we needed, and helped us succeed. Other than the hyper-achiever, there are several additional traits: pleaser, perfectionist, and victim, to name a few. My top two are hyper-achiever and…
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Career satisfaction, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy
Organization Politics – How We See It Can Change the Meaning
“I like doing my job, but I hate politics. Almost everyone says that they hate politics. If no one likes it, then who creates it in the first place”? My friend Barb uttered this with a big sigh as she and I met over coffee on a sunny spring afternoon. We commonly use the term “politics” to describe people’s actions to advance their self-interest at the cost of their coworkers’ interests. It is a win-lose game driven by the intention of gaining something for a selfish purpose. As someone who spent 20+ years inside organizations and then coaching organization leaders, I get curious about this. Barb’s comment made me ponder…