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Be Like a Lion: Enhance Leadership Through Pauses and White Spaces
Carol, a Vice President at a communication company, wanted to up her leadership presence. But she didn’t know how to create that learning space as she felt overwhelmed by her busy schedule. I suggested she try something on a small scale as an experiment. She decided she would try a meeting-free travel day that week. To her surprise, Carol found that it was perfectly acceptable to reschedule some meetings that fell during her travel days. She thought she had to be constantly available, like her mentors and bosses modeled for her. After the first experiment, she found other opportunities to create meeting-free white space in her schedule. This change made…
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Redefine Success Through Embracing Imperfection and Cultivating Resilience
The other day, I had a conversation with a woman grappling with her career satisfaction. Despite her impressive credentials, which included a Ph.D. and valuable job experiences, she was not fulfilled. As she inquired about my own career transition, I shared an article I had written. To my surprise, she responded, “You were just lucky to be in the right place at the right time!” Her interpretation couldn’t be further from the truth. But it made me realize how often we perceive others’ lives as easier than our own. One of the reasons could be the prevailing culture of constant showcasing of our accomplishments and accolades, fearing that acknowledging our…
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Beyond “Fake it Till You Make it”: A More Authentic Approach To Building Confidence
During the early days of my coaching career, when I said, “I am a coach,” my facial expression didn’t match it. The truth was, I didn’t feel confident about my new identity. Internally, I still saw myself as a software professional who was transitioning into coaching. And, as you can probably guess, the advice I received at the time was to “just believe it.” However, after 13 years, I’m here to tell you that I recommend a different approach. Recently, I had the pleasure of working with a woman in her mid-30s, a software development manager at a startup. Let’s call her Jessica. She struggled to talk about her strengths…
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How a Small-Group Coaching Circle Helped Mid-Level Leaders Thrive
A recent Harvard Business Review article said, “The benefits of small-group coaching come from powerful learning interactions among leaders who aren’t on the same team but are roughly equal in experience and position, and the process can generate leadership development impacts that exceed what’s possible in one-on-one coaching.” Building upon this idea, last June, we launched the Tech Leads Coaching Circle for mid-level leaders and seasoned professionals in the tech industry to foster a supportive and collaborative learning environment. We were pleased to see that our initial cohort included a diverse range of professionals, including a few staff-level senior engineers, an engineering manager, a product manager, and a business leader with international experience, all bringing unique perspectives and expertise to…
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Strong Leaders Also Need Psychological Safety
Psychological safety has become a prevalent concept, encompassing the feeling of safety individuals experience when sharing their thoughts and feelings without risking their status. While this is often attributed to individuals with less power, such as social minorities or those lower in the hierarchy of power or privilege, it also applies to those at the other end of the spectrum. Those in power, who are expected to be strong always, are afraid to show vulnerability, as it can feel unsafe. For example, during recent layoffs at a Fortune 100 company, Teresa, a senior VP, felt exhausted and disheartened by the situation. Despite this, she believed she needed to display her…
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Intimidating to Inspiring: How A Tech Leader Solved The Approachability Problem
Vlad (not his real name), a seasoned tech leader, received feedback that some team members found him intimidating – hindering them from seeking his guidance. His management urged him to work on his approachability. Vlad cared deeply about product and design quality and was passionate about solving complex problems. However, he didn’t particularly enjoy attending meetings and providing feedback, which was expected of him as a senior technical person on the team. So during those meetings, he appeared reluctantly and often conveyed his feedback quite abruptly, leaving others perplexed and frustrated. Anyone with average empathy would understand that how you communicate is as important, if not more, than the actual…
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5 Strategies To Withstand Turbulent Times
The current economic crisis and the layoffs by major companies created anxiety among workers, even those who have not been directly affected. Unsurprisingly, Microsoft’s HR Chief wrote about a global human energy crisis saying that about half of the employees are burnt out. In addition, UN Secretary-General warned that the next pandemic will be about a mental health crisis. While economic downturns are not uncommon, it is beyond our control. Finding a new job or growing our business is not entirely up to us. But still, when we face a setback like job loss, it may feel personal, “there must be something wrong with me; it must be my fault.”…
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5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with the tech leaders and executives, I helped them uncover some of their misconceptions and limiting behaviors. Even though they were already successful in their careers, they accelerated their success more sustainably when they recognized and overcame such patterns. I have summarised the five main ones here. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations We often start with what is expected of us and then comply with those – giving our time and talent in exchange for money, status, and validation. This mindset works for jobs mainly requiring manual labor and physical presence at the worksite. However, as knowledge workers and leaders, we must…
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Direct Communication Doesn’t Have To Be Hurtful
Stuart, a mid-level leader at a corporate, came to me as he wanted to be more approachable. “I am very direct, but people take it negatively.” I want to influence without causing animosity. Megan, a director at a non-profit, had difficulty giving corrective feedback; she worried the recipient might get hurt, so she used a long-winded way that often got lost in translation. Stuart and Megan had limiting beliefs that direct and kind can’t happen simultaneously; you have to choose one or the other. But Brene Brown taught us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind”. Brene Brown The purpose of direct communication is to convey the message as clearly as…
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What Can We Learn From Will Smith’s Oscar Debacle
[I originally wrote this after the Oscars last year (March 2022).] Since the Oscars, my newsfeed has been flooded with the news and commentary about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock on stage when he made a rather insensitive joke about Will’s wife, Jada. Smith later apologized to Rock. “I was out of line, and I was wrong. I am embarrassed, and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness… I am a work in progress.” While this is celebrity news, we can relate to such incidents. Maybe not every one of us gets…
