-
Sustainable Success: The Multifaceted Journey Beyond Social Media Posts
It is the season of job promotions. I’ve been getting several such news through LinkedIn posts from my clients. However, these celebratory posts only scratch the surface of their entire journey. When we see things only from the outside through a social media post, we sometimes fail to grasp the totality of the story. We might even feel a little green with envy or bummed out because we’re comparing our everyday grind to someone else’s highlight reel. We just hit “Like” or write “Congratulations” and move on with our day. As their coach, when I see those announcements, I’m transported back to their journey’s inception, reflecting on the intentional efforts,…
-
How a Small-Group Coaching Circle Helped Mid-Level Leaders Thrive
A recent Harvard Business Review article said, “The benefits of small-group coaching come from powerful learning interactions among leaders who aren’t on the same team but are roughly equal in experience and position, and the process can generate leadership development impacts that exceed what’s possible in one-on-one coaching.” Building upon this idea, last June, we launched the Tech Leads Coaching Circle for mid-level leaders and seasoned professionals in the tech industry to foster a supportive and collaborative learning environment. We were pleased to see that our initial cohort included a diverse range of professionals, including a few staff-level senior engineers, an engineering manager, a product manager, and a business leader with international experience, all bringing unique perspectives and expertise to…
-
5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with the tech leaders and executives, I helped them uncover some of their misconceptions and limiting behaviors. Even though they were already successful in their careers, they accelerated their success more sustainably when they recognized and overcame such patterns. I have summarised the five main ones here. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations We often start with what is expected of us and then comply with those – giving our time and talent in exchange for money, status, and validation. This mindset works for jobs mainly requiring manual labor and physical presence at the worksite. However, as knowledge workers and leaders, we must…
-
How Not To Think About An Elephant – A Neuroscience Way To Attain Goals
What if I say, “Do not think about an elephant” – I bet all you will think of is an elephant or several elephants in your mind. Well, it turns out that’s just how our brains work. When we tell ourselves not to do something, our brains don’t know what to do with that information. So instead of ignoring what we’re trying to avoid, our minds focus on it even more. There’s a name for this phenomenon: Ironic mental control. Our brains have two systems for controlling our thoughts and behaviors. The first system directs our attention and actions toward our goals, while the second system monitors us for errors.…
-
Direct Communication Doesn’t Have To Be Hurtful
Stuart, a mid-level leader at a corporate, came to me as he wanted to be more approachable. “I am very direct, but people take it negatively.” I want to influence without causing animosity. Megan, a director at a non-profit, had difficulty giving corrective feedback; she worried the recipient might get hurt, so she used a long-winded way that often got lost in translation. Stuart and Megan had limiting beliefs that direct and kind can’t happen simultaneously; you have to choose one or the other. But Brene Brown taught us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind”. Brene Brown The purpose of direct communication is to convey the message as clearly as…
-
Do You Dread Giving Feedback? There Is A Better Way.
Giving feedback is a regular part of a manager’s job responsibility, but most are uncomfortable. David Rock and his colleagues from the NeuroLeadership Institute wrote in this article, “Typical feedback conversations are about as pleasant as a root canal. Managers dread them because it’s often unclear what feedback the employee wants or needs. Employees dread them because even light criticism can feel like an assault on their status and credibility.” David Rock, The Neuroleadership Institute People want feedback. A feedback loop is what makes organisms survive on this earth. In a podcast, Oprah Winfrey mentioned that all her guests, including Beyonce and President Obama, asked her, “How did I do?”…
-
Three Strategies That Reduced Stress for a Busy Executive
Sheela, a senior executive at a renowned Fortune 500 company, sought my coaching services to improve her quality of life. She said her demanding job was taking a toll on her. Early morning meetings disrupted her morning self-care routine, and recent layoffs added even more stress to her already crazy schedule. As a result, Sheela felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and helpless. Sheela’s story is all too common among high-achieving professionals. Running after work deliverables alone was no longer feeding her soul; she valued her relationships with her family, friends, and team. Balancing these different areas of her life became a challenge, but with coaching, Sheela could find a way to improve…
-
From High Achiever to a Leader: It’s a Mindset Shift
Stephan was a VP of a Fortune 200 company. He was one of the top performers and indispensable for high stake projects. As a result, he was stretched thin; and had no downtime. He tried to delegate to his team, but unfortunately, he had to jump in when things got tough. It was unsustainable and unscalable for him and the organization. That is when he looked for a coach. I summarized his learning journey in the sections below. Start with Selfcare On our first meeting, I noticed that Stephan looked sleep deprived. However, he also candidly admitted that he had so much to do and so few resources that working…
-
What Causes Conflicts In Teams
No one wakes up thinking, “I will ruin the day; I will be ineffective today.” But even when everyone on the team is a decent person – stress, conflicts, and drama happen. I have identified a few underlying causes behind them. When thinking and feeling styles are different When someone is under stress When someone overuses their strengths For this article, I am leaving out the toxic cultures where the main actors are ego, selfish interest, and a lack of trust. On a team I led, there was a very energetic, proactive, independent-minded person who was very good at generating ideas and following through with them without help. Let’s call…
-
A Tale Of A Coaching Session
In corporate, coaching means helping someone do their job by giving them advice. Some examples are “have you considered XYZ?” and “If I were you, I would do it this way.” But professional coaching is about helping someone maximize their potential by creating awareness and developing an implementation plan according to their choice. I will describe one coaching session here to shed light on it. I got this new coaching project; I met the client for our first session last week. A woman in her mid-30s, a manager at a Biotech company, showed up on my Zoom screen. Let me call her Kate. We spent 10-ish minutes getting to know…
