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Career satisfaction, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Leadership, Self-leadership, Success Strategy
Confidence Is Not the Absence of Doubt
Carol, a senior leader in healthcare, recently transitioned from HR to strategy. She felt out of her depth. In leadership meetings, she hesitated to share her opinions, lacking the confidence she once had after 30 years in HR. Similarly, Steve, a veteran financial executive, had just stepped into a new role. Playing it safe, he stayed agreeable and held back. But over time, his frustration grew as he struggled to gain support for his initiatives. It’s true that decades of experience can bolster confidence, but we don’t always have the luxury of time. The good news? Confidence isn’t solely built on tenure. It’s about finding the conviction to move forward…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Leadership, Neuroscience, Self-leadership
Demystifying Executive Presence
A senior engineering leader reached out to me for coaching. His credentials were impeccable—multiple graduate degrees from prestigious universities and an impressive professional track record. Yet, he was told to improve his Executive Presence (EP). His question? “What does that even mean?“ Through our conversation, we identified his challenge: he struggled to deliver his points with clarity and conciseness during senior leadership meetings. This reminded me of another client—let’s call him Joe, a senior product manager. Joe was in the middle of a presentation when his VP interrupted, asking for the bottom line. Frustrated, Joe thought, Why won’t he let me finish my presentation? Later, when he shared this with…
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Is Pushing Back Hard for You? 3 Ways to Get Better
Susan (not her real name), a director at a manufacturing company, found herself navigating a common yet delicate workplace challenge. She pushed back on a request from a partner team; in her email, she explained that resource shortages and prioritization concerns prevented her team from accommodating it. To her surprise, her manager later provided feedback that her response came across as rude. In corporate environments, the ability to push back is often regarded as a hallmark of strong leadership. Done thoughtfully, it reflects assertiveness, strategic thinking, and professionalism. Yet for many—particularly women, minorities, and those from cultures that emphasize deference—pushing back tactfully can feel like walking a tightrope. Having faced…
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5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with tech leaders and executives, I’ve helped them uncover hidden misconceptions and limiting behaviors that often hold them back. Many of these leaders were already highly successful, yet by identifying and addressing these patterns, they found new ways to accelerate their growth more sustainably and more fulfilling. Recognizing these blind spots allowed them to approach challenges with greater clarity, adaptability, and confidence. Based on these experiences, I’ve summarized the five most common limiting patterns that, when overcome, can elevate leadership impact and personal fulfillment. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations Many of us begin by focusing on what’s expected of us, conforming to…
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Strong Leaders Also Need Psychological Safety
Psychological safety has become a prevalent concept, encompassing the feeling of safety individuals experience when sharing their thoughts and feelings without risking their status. While this is often attributed to individuals with less power, such as social minorities or those lower in the hierarchy of power or privilege, it also applies to those at the other end of the spectrum. Those in power who are expected to be always strong are afraid to show vulnerability, which can feel unsafe. For example, during recent layoffs at a Fortune 100 company, Teresa, a senior VP, felt exhausted and disheartened by the situation. Despite this, she believed she needed to display her strength…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Career satisfaction, Communication, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, Personal Brand, Self-leadership
Is “Authenticity” Backfiring On You? Here Is Why
During a meeting, Prakash, a Vice President, expressed frustration with his team’s lack of progress. This cost him a promotion. Theresa, a senior developer at a tech firm, was encouraged to be authentic at work. Taking this to heart, she started to express her opinions passionately. However, her colleagues perceived her openness as naysaying, alienating her from the rest of the team. Jim, a product manager, felt alone because he advocated for what he believed was the right quality bar, while others stayed quiet, seemingly content with “mediocre” standards. What do these three stories have in common? Each individual believed they were being authentic by sharing their true thoughts and…
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Applying Engineering Principles To Solve People Issues
Ron, an engineering manager, faced a persistent challenge with one of his direct reports, Jackson. Jackson’s behavior left Ron questioning his motivation and even his competency. Despite Jackson’s belief that he was doing well, Ron and others saw things differently. Struggling to address this without creating conflict, Ron resorted to giving indirect advice about being more patient and a team player, but nothing seemed to work. Sound familiar? Many engineering managers encounter similar struggles. The core of the issue often lies in: “How do I provide feedback that the other person will accept and act on?” While common feedback strategies like being timely and actionable are important, there’s another highly…
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Hesitating Challenging Others? Try These Five Graceful Steps
George, a VP at a Fortune 500 company, had a reputation for being insightful yet reserved. Despite his analytical prowess and humble personality, he often found himself silent during crucial meetings, especially when senior leaders were present. Feedback from his peers highlighted this issue: George wasn’t speaking up. When I asked George about his hesitation, he shared his worry of coming across as negative. He could easily sense when something wasn’t right, but voicing his concerns felt risky. Avoiding conflict had been his strategy for a while, but now it was hindering his growth. To help George overcome this challenge, we devised a practical strategy to enable him to express…
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5 Barriers To Effective Listening
In today’s ever-evolving landscape, effective listening has emerged as a crucial skill for leaders. Yet, it remains a challenge for many. What stands in the way? While lack of trust, negative stereotypes, superiority, fear, and ego are significant barriers, other subtler tendencies hinder us even in more favorable environments. In this article, I delve into these subtle ones, which diminish listening for even well-meaning individuals in living rooms, boardrooms, and Zoom meetings. 1: Under time pressure When you feel you are under time pressure, you rush to respond without taking the time to understand the speaker’s intention or state of mind. 2: Fractional listening You listen as much as you…
