Improve your EQ fitness – Self reflection
A few weeks back I wrote this blog post, Feeling- A vital part missing from the thinker’s head. Since then Tom made some progress. These days on the feeling question he responds with “good”, “bad” or “better”! I am so proud of him. It looks like he is ready for the next step of EQ fitness exercise.
In case you are curious about my excitement with EQ, here is some data for your analytic brain. Prominent psychologist Daniel Goleman found that
- Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ in achieving professional and personal success in our lives.
- EQ is the primary determinant of the quality of our relationships, at work and in our personal lives
- EQ is developed and sustained through our interactions with others
- EQ can be developed throughout our lives through disciplined, focused practice and can radically improve the quality of our lives.
Being aware of one’s own feelings and body sensation is part of self-reflection, one of the three core capacities of EQ. Now Tom’s next assignment is to write down his feeling and body sensation for at least one event every day and to do it for a month.
Here is an example:
| Date | Event | My feeling | My body sensation |
| 9/13/2012 | For the first time, my 4th grader walked home from school all by herself | Nervous, Joy, satisfaction, affection | More blood flow in my heart, body felt more grounded. |
I know Tom’s challenge for the feeling words. So here is a list of feeling words I gave him.
| Anger | Anxiety | Fear | Joy | Love | Sadness | Shame |
| Agitated
Anger Annoyed Appalled Disgusted Frustrated Irritated Outraged Rage Spiteful Upset Vindictive |
Anxious
Confused Distant Dulled Frantic Helpless Impatient Intense Nervous Overwhelmed Paralyzed Perplexed Queasy Skeptical Stressed Uneasy |
Alarmed
Defensive Doubtful Dread Fearful Frightened Reluctant Startled Suspicious Tense Worried |
Alive
Bold Brave Capable Comfortable Confident Curious Delighted Dynamic Eager Elated Energized Excited Glad Gleeful Hopeful Joyful |
Attention
Caring Comforting Compassion Concerned Encouraged Engaged Gentle Honored Open Respected Secure Tender |
Crushed
Disappointed Discouraged Distraught Distressed Empty Grief Lonely Lost Miserable Mournful Remorseful Resigned Sad Sorry Terrible
|
Ashamed
Burdened Condemned Culpable Despised Disgraced Dread Embarrassed Guilty Harassed Humiliated Inept Inadequate Regretful Shame |
Reference: EQ Fitness Handbook by Jan Johnson
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