Communication,  Executive Presence,  Leadership,  Success Strategy,  Uncategorized

Is Pushing Back Hard for You? 3 Ways to Get Better

Susan (not her real name), a director at a manufacturing company, found herself navigating a common yet delicate workplace challenge. She pushed back on a request from a partner team; in her email, she explained that resource shortages and prioritization concerns prevented her team from accommodating it. To her surprise, her manager later provided feedback that her response came across as rude.

In corporate environments, the ability to push back is often regarded as a hallmark of strong leadership. Done thoughtfully, it reflects assertiveness, strategic thinking, and professionalism. Yet for many—particularly women, minorities, and those from cultures that emphasize deference—pushing back tactfully can feel like walking a tightrope.

Having faced similar struggles earlier in my own career, I could deeply empathize with Susan. From her perspective, she had offered valid reasons for declining the request. However, the feedback she received suggested her response lacked the empathy needed to soften the message. Susan also wondered if gender bias played a role in how her actions were perceived—a valid concern given the persistent stereotypes women face in professional settings.

While systemic biases undeniably shape such experiences, Susan’s situation highlighted an opportunity for growth. As professionals, we can develop tools to navigate these challenges more effectively, balancing assertiveness with empathy.

In the sections that follow, I explored why pushing back can feel uncomfortable and shared strategies to do so in a way that builds relationships and supports professional growth.

Why Pushing Back Feels Rude and Abrupt

The discomfort with pushing back is often rooted in ingrained values and relational behaviors. For those raised in cultures that value harmony and deference, saying “no” or setting boundaries can feel unnatural. But when we can’t afford to say “yes” anymore, our response often is a knee-jerk reaction.  We do it like ripping off a bandiad. As a result, unintentionally, our delivery appears unempathetic or unsupportive.

One common misconception about pushing back is viewing it as a transactional act. In reality, it’s a vital part of a broader dialogue about organizational priorities and resource allocation. When we lack a clear understanding of the bigger picture, we often take on the burden of making decisions in isolation based on limited information and authority. This creates unnecessary pressure on ourselves and can lead to unintended consequences.

How To Push Back Strategically w/ Ease and Grace

Here are three practical approaches to help refine your communication and make pushing back a constructive rather than contentious, process:

  1. Choose the Right Medium
    When delivering a tricky or sensitive message, consider the medium carefully. A one-on-one setting—such as a phone or video call, or better yet, a face-to-face conversation—is often more effective than email. Written communication can strip away the emotional nuance needed to soften a rejection, making it more likely to be misinterpreted.
  2. Use Empathy and the “Yes-And” Technique
    When responding to requests, remember that there is a genuine need. Even if your team cannot accommodate the request, acknowledge their position before explaining your constraints.
    • Example: “I understand this project is important to your team, and I’d love to help. Unfortunately, we’re currently at capacity, but we could revisit this next quarter or explore a scaled-down version to fit within our resources.”
      This approach balances empathy with practicality, demonstrating that you value their needs while setting realistic boundaries.
  3. Consult and Align w/ Mangement
    For high-stakes or highly visible requests, consult with your boss or a senior colleague before responding. This ensures you understand the broader context and allows you to align your decision with the senior leadership’s priorities. If the request must be accommodated, ask for guidance on reprioritizing your workload to avoid over-commitment and the risk of burning out your team.

Building the Skill Over Time

Many well-meaning advisors stress the importance of saying “no” or pushing back but rarely address the subtle nuances involved. Without proper guidance, the process can feel daunting and discouraging—like diving into the deep end of a pool without first learning how to swim. Missteps along the way can lead to misunderstandings, strained relationships, or a loss of confidence.

The key is to approach pushing back not as an isolated act but as a valuable skill that enables you to prioritize effectively, manage resources wisely, and align with organizational goals. Start small by practicing the strategies outlined above in low-stakes scenarios. Over time, you’ll build the confidence and finesse to navigate complex situations more gracefully.


If this topic resonates with you and you’re ready to refine your approach, please get in touch with us today for personalized guidance and support.

The featured image is by fauxels at pexel.com

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