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Direct Communication Doesn’t Have To Be Hurtful
Stuart, a mid-level leader at a corporate, came to me as he wanted to be more approachable. “I am very direct, but people take it negatively.” I want to influence without causing animosity. Megan, a director at a non-profit, had difficulty giving corrective feedback; she worried the recipient might get hurt, so she used a long-winded way that often got lost in translation. Stuart and Megan had limiting beliefs that direct and kind can’t happen simultaneously; you have to choose one or the other. But Brene Brown taught us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind”. Brene Brown The purpose of direct communication is to convey the message as clearly as…
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Do You Dread Giving Feedback? There Is A Better Way.
Giving feedback is a regular part of a manager’s job responsibility, but most are uncomfortable. David Rock and his colleagues from the NeuroLeadership Institute wrote in this article, “Typical feedback conversations are about as pleasant as a root canal. Managers dread them because it’s often unclear what feedback the employee wants or needs. Employees dread them because even light criticism can feel like an assault on their status and credibility.” David Rock, The Neuroleadership Institute People want feedback. A feedback loop is what makes organisms survive on this earth. In a podcast, Oprah Winfrey mentioned that all her guests, including Beyonce and President Obama, asked her, “How did I do?”…
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From High Achiever to a Leader: It’s a Mindset Shift
Stephan was a VP of a Fortune 200 company. He was one of the top performers and indispensable for high stake projects. As a result, he was stretched thin; and had no downtime. He tried to delegate to his team, but unfortunately, he had to jump in when things got tough. It was unsustainable and unscalable for him and the organization. That is when he looked for a coach. I summarized his learning journey in the sections below. Start with Selfcare On our first meeting, I noticed that Stephan looked sleep deprived. However, he also candidly admitted that he had so much to do and so few resources that working…
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A Tale Of A Coaching Session
In corporate, coaching means helping someone do their job by giving them advice. Some examples are “have you considered XYZ?” and “If I were you, I would do it this way.” But professional coaching is about helping someone maximize their potential by creating awareness and developing an implementation plan according to their choice. I will describe one coaching session here to shed light on it. I got this new coaching project; I met the client for our first session last week. A woman in her mid-30s, a manager at a Biotech company, showed up on my Zoom screen. Let me call her Kate. We spent 10-ish minutes getting to know…
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Remote and Hybrid Work Is Here To Stay: How Are You Catching Up?
Even five years ago, calling into a meeting was not very encouraged. But this Covid19 pandemic suddenly turned the culture upside down. Nowadays, organizations are having difficulty bringing people back to physical offices. Two years of forced remote work taught us that we don’t have to be in one physical place to be productive. Historically, pandemics changed societies. In 1347, the Black Death’s most significant socioeconomic legacy was its role in ending feudalism. In 1819, the Spanish Flu revolutionized public health, spawning the new fields of epidemiology and virology. In addition, it led several Western European countries to adopt universal healthcare systems that are still in operation. Remote and Hybrid…
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Why Targeting A Job Title As A Goal Doesn’t Work – Sharmin’s Interview With Ascend Global Media
Q: Why is it important to set an authentic goal? When we are too focused on outside-in recognition like a job title, money, etc., we narrowly define our goal. It will be very hard to keep our attention to what is truly important, and we may get easily distracted by the hurdles. As a result, we may act and behave less than our best, which leads to unproductive drama, a win-lose kind of game. When setting a goal, think about the behavior and experiences that lead to a desirable outcome. Often people say, “I want to be a VP, Director, CEO, etc.”. I understand those titles show your level…
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Get New Year’s Planning Out of the Way and Enjoy The Holidays More
Holiday’s are in the air. You must be looking forward to all the festivities, traveling, seeing the family, or simply winding down. Me too. I am heading for a two weeks trip to see the family. How would it be if you already have a plan to embrace 2022 right after the holidays? You could avoid the madness of setting new year’s resolutions and possibly getting disappointed for not following through. Think no more. Are You Ready for the 4-part Career Vision Intensive Workshop in January? It is a group coaching series with content sharing, detailed worksheets for self-work, small group discussions, and reflections on real-life challenges. In total, eight contact hours…
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Career satisfaction, Coaching, Personal Brand, productivity, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Time Management
A Workshop Emerged from the Themes of Coaching Tech Clients
After 12 years of coaching software engineers to VPs in the tech industry, I found this common theme: feeling fulfilled about our work and contribution is challenging. Managing a thriving relationship with the boss, peers, and other stakeholders is not easy. They would always want more from us; our passion would be interpreted as aggressiveness, our analytical thinking style would be seen as a lack of executive presence. And the list goes long. In addition, managing a family, kids, along full-time demanding work becomes a losing battle at times. No wonder 55% of the adult population feels Languishing, a lack of zest. As high-performing, high-achieving leaders and individual contributors, all of my…
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The Story Behind “Q&A With Sharmin” Series
I was answering the audience questions during a recent speaking engagement when the host said, “pay attention, Sharmin is coaching.” Even though I was pleasantly surprised that he saw it that way, it was no coincidence that I was coaching. My focus for the last few years has been on my coaching presence. Being present to the audience and listening deeply gave me the ability to coach on the spot effectively. Responding to the audience’s question in such a manner has been an enjoyable part of my speaking lately. This insight prompted me to put this into an experiment, and “Q&A with Sharmin” was born. At the core of it,…
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My DYI Project – A Video Introduction
Last year, when everything went virtual, I had to create videos for a couple of online events. It allowed me to hone my video shooting and editing skills. Recently, we had a few sunny days in Seattle, giving me natural lights for this video shoot. Here is a 2-min video where I described my coaching philosophy, ideal clients, and their challenges. The time constraint reminded me of that famous quote, “I wrote you a long letter because I didn’t have the time to shorten it.” I picked the most common client challenge even though there are various others. Life is a continuous work in progress and this is a snapshot from…
