EQ
Emotional Intelligence, EI
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Challenge Responding To Senior Leaders During Meetings? Quality Listening Is Key
Two Leaders, Similar Challenge Tory, a senior director was in charge of a critical customer-facing component of the business. During big meetings, he had to answer the senior leaders about ongoing customer issues. When in the middle of an escalation, it is very tricky keeping the senior leaders satisfied on top of coordinating with the engineers and anxious customers. Tory was not alone. Many engineering leaders have such challenges. To make the problem worse, they often receive blanket feedback to improve their executive presence. Tory didn’t know what to do with such feedback. Another director-level leader, Tushar, also had a hard time thinking on his feet during such meetings. Tushar…
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Cultivate Resilience For Challenging Times : 3C Model
Today (Nov 4, 2020), Americans are anxiously watching TV and browsing news sites and social media feeds following the result of this historic election. A few days ago, The American Psychology Association (APA) said 68% of American adults are experiencing election anxiety. I am sure the number has increased much more since election night. 2020 has been a testing time for our individual and collective resilience. The pandemic, the Election, the blurred work-life boundary, and everything in between there is no shortage of it. I noticed that some people handled it a little better than others. The X-factor is their resilience. We may think that some people have it. But…
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Are Disagreements Hard For You? EQ Analysis Can Help
A very passionate, competent, and committed gentleman, Nathan was a Product leader at a medium-size cutting edge tech company. Disagreements, differences in opinions, were a regular part of his job, yet it was hard for him. It ended up being a personal attack that costed his relationships. He felt awful. He wanted to establish what he felt right for the organization, but he didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Disagreements came at a high price for him. Nathan believed that there were only two options: not to raise his concerns and maintain the harmony or fight for his point and accept the consequence. Either of the choices sucked. As we started…
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Stressed About a Situation? Either-Or Thinking Could Be The Cause
Case Study 1 Helen, a mid-level leader, was frustrated with her boss. He told her one thing, but his behavior during meetings was saying something else. She was confused, and the only conclusion she could come up with was he was not forthright. I noticed the anger was pretty high in Helen’s voice as she spoke. “You seem upset about this,” I said. “Yes I am, because…”- Helen tried to justify her anger. I offered her a quick breathing process, and it helped her feel calmer. I then paraphrased the situation. “Your boss told you X, and now in the meeting, he is acting as Y. You are curious about…
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Take The Fear Out Of Feedback Giving
Imagine your boss is saying, “I have some feedback for you” – notice what reaction you get. Very often it feels like a threat, as “We have a problem”! According to this article by David Rock of NeuroLeadership Institute (NLI), “Feedback conversations, as they exist today, activate this social threat response. In West and Thorson’s study, participants’ heart rates jumped as much as 50 percent during feedback conversations. (Equivalent spikes have been found during some of the most anxiety-producing tasks, such as public speaking.) In their self-assessments, participants reported feelings that mirror what just about everyone has experienced personally: nerves, uncertainty, and anxiety. All this physiological stress has the unfortunate…
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Why EQ Matters And How To Be Better At It
Do you often wonder why people behave negatively (rude, mean, unpredictable)? Do you often stress a lot? Do you want to improve professional and personal relationships? Do you want to increase your impact and influence? If you answered “yes” to any of these, you may want to invest in your EQ. Thanks to the thought leaders, Daniel Goleman, Travis Bradberry, Richard Boyatzis and many others, EQ, EI or “Emotional Intelligence” is a ubiquitous term in the leadership world. Goleman has this explainer video for the beginners. Despite all the resources, when it comes to applying it in a day to day life, we often feel lost. “I know I…
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“Tell Me About Yourself” – Why It Is Hard and What To Do About It
Frequent flyers in the job market already know how this easy question could sometimes become quite daunting. During an interview coaching, I ask the clients to answer it first. Interestingly enough, even the expert interviewers have difficulty talking about themselves. Some of the common patterns are: Pattern 1 – They walk through the resume chronologically. Example: “I received my BS degree from the University of Kentucky, then I joined x company, worked there until 2002 as a junior software engineer, then I moved to y company and worked there until 2007, got promoted to a supervisor position. After that …” (At this point, my brain starts hurting ) Pattern 2 – They…
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Improve your EQ fitness – Self reflection
A few weeks back I wrote this blog post, Feeling- A vital part missing from the thinker’s head. Since then Tom made some progress. These days on the feeling question he responds with “good”, “bad” or “better”! I am so proud of him. It looks like he is ready for the next step of EQ fitness exercise. In case you are curious about my excitement with EQ, here is some data for your analytic brain. Prominent psychologist Daniel Goleman found that Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ in achieving professional and personal success in our lives. EQ is the primary determinant of the quality of our relationships, at work and in…
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TED finds the lost ring
I have been busy with this week’s webinar. The topic is from the Power of TED; Empowerment is all I have in my mind. I even empowered myself to be okay with taking a break from my weekly posts. But then I found this gift, call it the law of attraction or anything else! Here it is: When I was walking my daughter to school, I noticed she was holding the light-up ring in her hand (she bought it with her allowance money last week). I knew she misplaced it last night and had asked me about it. I got curious and asked her how she found it. She smiled wisely. “You know…