EQ

Emotional Intelligence, EI

  • Forest tree roots Image by Allan Joyner from Pixabay
    EQ,  productivity,  Stress Management

    Cultivate Resilience For Challenging Times : 3C Model

    Today (Nov 4, 2020), Americans are anxiously watching TV, browsing the news sites, and social media feeds, following the result of this historic election. A few days ago, The American Psychology Association (APA) said 68% of American adults are experiencing election anxiety. I am sure the number has increased much more since the election night. 2020 has been a testing time for our individual and collective resilience. The pandemic, the Election, the blurred work-life boundary, and everything in between there is no shortage of it. I noticed that some people handled it a little better than others. The X-factor is their resilience. We may think that some people have it.…

  • Goats fighting: Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
    EQ,  Happiness,  Leadership,  Stress Management

    Are Disagreements Hard For You? EQ Analysis Can Help

    A very passionate, competent, and committed gentleman, Nathan was a Product leader at a medium-size cutting edge tech company. Disagreements, differences in opinions, were a regular part of his job, yet it was hard for him. It ended up being a personal attack that costed his relationships. He felt awful. He wanted to establish what he felt right for the organization, but he didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Disagreements came at a high price for him. Nathan believed that there were only two options: not to raise his concerns and maintain the harmony or fight for his point and accept the consequence. Either of the choices sucked. As we started…

  • Setback - Image by Fábio Luciano Sorg from Pixabay
    EQ,  Happiness,  Success Strategy

    Overcome Setbacks Using 3A’s : Acknowledge, Analyze and Act

    Theresa has been feeling very down the last few days. Her manager informed her that she didn’t get the promotion this time. He was quite compassionate while giving her the bad news. Still, it is hard for her to overcome this feeling of defeat. At times it feels like a loss or a betrayal even. It is hard for her to be present for her family though they have understood her disappointment. Theresa’s situation may sound familiar to many of you. As grown-ups, we know that everyone goes through such setbacks once in a while. Depending on our resilience, the level of suffering varies, and we come out to the other…

  • Fire and Water - Image by Iván Tamás from Pixabay
    EQ,  Leadership,  productivity,  Stress Management

    Stressed About a Situation? Either-Or Thinking Could Be The Cause

    Case Study 1 Helen, a mid-level leader, was frustrated with her boss. He told her one thing, but his behavior during meetings was saying something else. She was confused, and the only conclusion she could come up with was he was not forthright. I noticed the anger was pretty high in Helen’s voice as she spoke. “You seem upset about this,” I said. “Yes I am, because…”- Helen tried to justify her anger. I offered her a quick breathing process, and it helped her feel calmer. I then paraphrased the situation. “Your boss told you X, and now in the meeting, he is acting as Y. You are curious about…

  • EQ,  Leadership,  Success Strategy

    Take The Fear Out Of Feedback

    Imagine your boss is saying, “I have some feedback for you” – notice what reaction you get. Very often it feels like a threat, as “We have a problem”! According to this article by David Rock of NeuroLeadership Institute (NLI), “Feedback conversations, as they exist today, activate this social threat response. In West and Thorson’s study, participants’ heart rates jumped as much as 50 percent during feedback conversations. (Equivalent spikes have been found during some of the most anxiety-producing tasks, such as public speaking.) In their self-assessments, participants reported feelings that mirror what just about everyone has experienced personally: nerves, uncertainty, and anxiety. All this physiological stress has the unfortunate…

  • Why EQ Matters And How To Be Better At It
    EQ,  Leadership,  Success Strategy

    Why EQ Matters And How To Be Better At It

    Do you often wonder why people behave negatively (rude, mean, unpredictable)? Do you often stress a lot? Do you want to improve professional and personal relationships? Do you want to increase your impact and influence? If you answered “yes” to any of these, you may want to invest in your EQ. Thanks to the thought leaders, Daniel Goleman, Travis Bradberry, Richard Boyatzis and many others,   EQ, EI or “Emotional Intelligence” is a ubiquitous term in the leadership world. Goleman has this explainer video for the beginners.  Despite all the resources,  when it comes to applying it in a day to day life, we often feel lost. “I know I…

  • Career satisfaction,  EQ,  Personal Brand

    “Tell Me About Yourself” – Why It Is Hard and What To Do About It

    Those frequent flyers in the job market already know how this apparently easy question could become quite daunting at times. During an interview coaching, I ask the clients to answer it first. Interesting enough even the expert interviewers have a hard time talking about themselves. Some of the common patterns are: Pattern 1 – They walk through the resume chronologically. Example: “ I received my BS degree from University if Kentucky, then I joined x company, worked there for until 2002 as a junior software engineer then I moved to y company and worked there until 2007, got promoted to a supervisor position. After that …” (At this point my brain starts…

  • EQ,  Happiness,  Leadership,  Success Strategy

    Caterpillars to Butterflies : Human Maturity Stages

    When I ask “What do YOU want” people sometimes get confused.  Common responses are: “Wouldn’t that be selfish”? “I always think about others, I put others needs ahead of me, am I not supposed to do that way”? Awareness around renowned development psychologist Robert Kegan’s Human Maturity Stages might shed some light on this. Kegan said humans go through several major stages of maturity in their lifetime. And not everyone reaches all of them in their lifetime. Ego Centric Self (Stage 0-2) This is typically the stage from birth to adolescence. At this stage, the earth revolves around them. Others are there to fulfill their needs. They hardly have the capacity to feel…

  • EQ,  Success Strategy

    Improve your EQ fitness – Self reflection

    A few weeks back I wrote this blog post, Feeling- A vital part missing from the thinker’s head. Since then Tom made some progress. These days on the feeling question he responds with “good”, “bad” or “better”! I am so proud of him. It looks like he is ready for the next step of EQ fitness exercise. In case you are curious about my excitement with EQ, here is some data for your analytic brain.  Prominent psychologist Daniel Goleman found that Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ in achieving professional and personal success in our lives. EQ is the primary determinant of the quality of our relationships, at work and in…

  • EQ,  Leadership,  Success Strategy

    Feeling – A Vital Missing Part from the Thinker’s Head

    “What do you feel now?” I ask my client Tom in the middle of our session. “I think it is, …”, he replies. “What do you feel”, I ask persistently. “Well, I think it could be …”; little baffled, Tom reiterates his thoughts. In Tom’s mind “feeling” is a synonym of “thinking”, he(who is an engineer) lives and breathes in his head, the rest of the body underneath merely serves as a pedestal for his head! Tom is not alone. When I first came for my coach training I had a hard time with these “feeling’ questions. I didn’t know much about it other than, feeling good or bad. Then…