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What life stage are you in – Survival, Success or Significance?
I have been feeling highly spirited all day watching the US Presidential inauguration ceremony. I found this topic from Pastor Rick Warren on the Oprah Show appropriate for this week’s post: “Everyone lives at one of three levels in life: Survival, Success, and Significance.” Survival—You live from week to week, looking forward to weekends, vacations, and, finally, retirement. In my words, this is life in “Autopilot mode.” Success – Your life is pretty full of eating out, driving a nice car, looking good, feeling good, and having goods. After being at this level for a while, as people grow, they start thinking – If I am so successful, why don’t…
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Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail and How to Make it Work
Almost half of the Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but fewer than 10% successfully achieve them(source)! The most popular resolutions are staying fit, work-life balance, and personal enrichment. All these are great resolutions to improve one’s quality of life. Then why the success rate is so low, and what can we do to beat that? One of my coaching clients set his goal to reduce his weight by going to the gym every day. Knowing that the key to setting achievable goals is to align them with one’s true essence, I asked him these clarifying questions: What is the bigger purpose it is aligned to? What will you feel when you…
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What Intrinsically Motivates Us (Hint: It’s not money)
David, a tech leader and a father of two, was in a big dilemma about a job offer. The money was higher than what he was making in his current job, but something else didn’t feel right. His friends said he should take it – “after all, you do the work for money, like a mercenary.” Humans are driven only by money, and materialistic rewards is a false premise. Research shows that additional money doesn’t increase our motivation when we have enough money to meet our regular needs (higher than just basics). Especially if the work needs creativity or deep thinking, money doesn’t guarantee higher performance. In his book Drive, Daniel…
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How is Your Emotional Tire Pressure?
“I am just busy,” “I could use a nap,” “I am so tired.” Does any of these sound familiar to you? If yes, you belong to a very large group of working professionals who keep going every day despite all such feelings – it is like driving your car with low tire pressure. A 2017 article from Occupational Health and Safety said, 43% of Americans are too tired to function well at work. If it included the knowledge workers, it would have been much higher. And all these were before 2020. This year – the pandemic, the election, the social unrest, the forest fire, the blurred work-life boundary – we…
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Are Disagreements Hard For You? EQ Analysis Can Help
A very passionate, competent, and committed gentleman, Nathan was a Product leader at a medium-size cutting edge tech company. Disagreements, differences in opinions, were a regular part of his job, yet it was hard for him. It ended up being a personal attack that costed his relationships. He felt awful. He wanted to establish what he felt right for the organization, but he didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Disagreements came at a high price for him. Nathan believed that there were only two options: not to raise his concerns and maintain the harmony or fight for his point and accept the consequence. Either of the choices sucked. As we started…
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Reconnect With Self – A Leadership Lesson from CBS’s Madam Secretary
In an episode of CBS’s Madam Secretary (Meaning of Life, May 13th, 2018), there is a side story where Russell Jackson was prescribed by his doctor to find a relaxing activity because of his heart condition. His intern Stevie was to find something not too “touchy-feely” exercise for him. Stevie was going for all the well-researched activities like yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, etc., none of which land well with Russell. Stevie’s Dad, Henry McCord, came to rescue. He told Stevie, “All these practices are a warm-up for the big question, the Spiritual journey. All his life Russel avoided it. He might drive himself to an early grave, trying to avoid it.”…
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Are You a Mom, Thinking of Going Back to Work?
Rebecca was a 39-year-old woman and a mother of two (8 and 10). She had a college degree and a 10-year of corporate experience. Rebecca was happily married to her husband Bob who made a handsome six-figure income, they were comfortably living an upper-middle-class life in a suburban town in the Seattle area. The only downside, Rebecca took an 8-year break after she had her second child and she was feeling lost about how to go back to work. It was clear that making money was not the main concern for Rebecca. Though some income of her own would have helped her self-esteem, “I want to have something to use my…
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A Happiness Model For the Graph Lovers
Have you ever wondered if there is a mathematical representation of Happiness? The answer is Yes! Tal Ben-Shahar, a renowned researcher in positive psychology and a popular lecturer at Harvard, represented Happiness in terms of the X-Y quadrant. Considering X being the present Happiness and Y the future Happiness, he said we need to have both of them +ve to be happy. Imagine you are going for a family trip to the Yellowstone National Park. You have got the time off from work, you got the money for the trip, made all the reservations, and now you and your family have started the journey. It is a 12- hours’ drive,…
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Curb Your Anxieties Using This 3C Model – How to make good choices during the home quarantine time
We are living through an episode of world history. The way we know life has come to a halt. The leaders, scientists, the medical community, and all the essential service providers are working round the clock to keep us safer from the curse of this COVID-19 pandemic. The rest of us are asked to do one thing – stay in our homes to help reduce the spread of this highly contagious virus. Everyone is reacting, coping, adapting in their way – be it a child or an older person. What is different is the magnitude of struggle and sufferings – both internal and external. Neuroscience says uncertainty creates anxiety –…
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Managing a Virtual Meeting – Learning from my “Big Fat” Family Zoom Call
This pandemic has done one magical thing; families, far and near are coming together via video calls. Like many others, my family is spread globally across six time zones spanning three continents. We have had a Messenger group, mostly for updates, memes, and occasional group calls that very few participated. During this late March, we wanted to have a planned video call and brought Zoom for the first time because of the technical limitation of Messenger. It went ok despite some glitches; most of the people came in and participated. Even though everyone thanked me for the initiative, I had a nagging feeling that I wanted to make it better. We…
