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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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What life stage are you in – Survival, Success or Significance?
Pastor Rick Warren said on The Oprah Show, “Everyone lives at one of three levels in life: Survival, Success, and Significance.” Survival—You live from week to week, looking forward to weekends, vacations, and, finally, retirement. In my words, this is life in “Autopilot mode.” Success – Your life is pretty full of eating out, driving a nice car, looking good, feeling good, and having goods. After being at this level for a while, as people grow, they start thinking – If I am so successful, why don’t I feel satisfied? Significance—You know your life matters. You know why you are alive and have a purpose to live a life of…
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Beyond Success: The Path to Significance
A few months ago, I met Megan, a high-achieving corporate leader in her early forties, happily married with two young kids. Despite her stellar success, she felt like she was on an endless treadmill with no clear direction. This is not uncommon among high-achievers like Megan. Throughout her life, she has always known her next goal and pursued it with determination and discipline. I shared the theory of life stages—Survival, Success, and Significance—with her. The Success stage is characterized by material wealth, comfort, and success. Most of us aim to achieve this stage and want to continue this pursuit. However, sometimes, we wonder why we don’t feel fulfilled. This lack…
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High Achievers’ Burnout: Let’s Invest in Human Skills In the Era of AI
Recently, I had a session with Ana, a highly accomplished Vice President at a corporate firm. Ana looked exhausted. She understands she’s been overworking, leaving no room for rest and recuperation. Despite this awareness, her inner worry about disappointing others prevents her from relaxing, even after logging off in the evening. This constant pressure is pushing her towards extreme exhaustion and burnout. Ana’s experience is far from unique. Harsha Perera’s article on the different paths to burnout highlights white-collar burnout, a form of exhaustion not due to physically demanding tasks but rather psychological and existential pressures. This burnout stems from the relentless need to prove one’s worth by achieving certain…
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Applying Engineering Principles To Solve People Issues
Ron, an engineering manager, faced a persistent challenge with one of his direct reports, Jackson. Jackson’s behavior left Ron questioning his motivation and even his competency. Despite Jackson’s belief that he was doing well, Ron and others saw things differently. Struggling to address this without creating conflict, Ron resorted to giving indirect advice about being more patient and a team player, but nothing seemed to work. Sound familiar? Many engineering managers encounter similar struggles. The core of the issue often lies in: “How do I provide feedback that the other person will accept and act on?” While common feedback strategies like being timely and actionable are important, there’s another highly…
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Hesitating Challenging Others? Try These Five Graceful Steps
George, a VP at a Fortune 500 company, had a reputation for being insightful yet reserved. Despite his analytical prowess and humble personality, he often found himself silent during crucial meetings, especially when senior leaders were present. Feedback from his peers highlighted this issue: George wasn’t speaking up. When I asked George about his hesitation, he shared his worry of coming across as negative. He could easily sense when something wasn’t right, but voicing his concerns felt risky. Avoiding conflict had been his strategy for a while, but now it was hindering his growth. To help George overcome this challenge, we devised a practical strategy to enable him to express…
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Beyond Busy: Transforming Work Habits with Neuroscience Insights
In a recent coaching session, Tatiyana, a senior director at a leading global engineering company, opened up about a pressing issue: “I’m grappling with two primary challenges. Firstly, it’s incredibly hard to progress in my big project when my day is full of meetings. Secondly, even after delivering a high-stakes project, I struggle to focus on the next task as my mind continues to dwell on the previous one.” Worried about its impact on her productivity, she sought guidance. This challenge is common for many professionals today, grappling with a relentless schedule of meetings and complex tasks. But here’s the kicker—it’s not a personal deficiency; instead, it’s intricately linked to…
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5 Barriers To Effective Listening
In today’s ever-evolving landscape, effective listening has emerged as a crucial skill for leaders. Yet, it remains a challenge for many. What stands in the way? While lack of trust, negative stereotypes, superiority, fear, and ego are significant barriers, other subtler tendencies hinder us even in more favorable environments. In this article, I delve into these subtle ones, which diminish listening for even well-meaning individuals in living rooms, boardrooms, and Zoom meetings. 1: Under time pressure When you feel you are under time pressure, you rush to respond without taking the time to understand the speaker’s intention or state of mind. 2: Fractional listening You listen as much as you…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Executive Presence, Leadership, Self-leadership, Success Strategy
Navigating a New Boss? Trust the Leader in You
Susan has been a valued member of the company for quite some time. However, the arrival of a new boss has brought unexpected challenges. This leader, who is reserved and prefers pushing their agenda without much dialogue, has left Susan feeling as though she must prove herself once again. The weight of this challenge is draining, and Susan finds herself unsure if she has the energy to overcome yet another hurdle. This scenario is all too familiar, a narrative I often encounter. While leaders are responsible for fostering engagement and validation within their teams, it’s essential to remember that we also hold power and responsibility in improving relationships. Susan’s sense…
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Struggling to Align Your Team? Embrace the Power of Open Listening
Phillip recently got a new assignment involving leading a change initiative in a new region. While very excited about the career growth opportunity, he soon realized that the team was resistant to his leadership. Despite his proven track record of success, he struggles to gain traction and alignment within the group. Compounding his professional challenges, Phillip is also navigating personal transitions, feeling unsettled in a new town without adequate social support. He thought he had connected with the team; he knew about their families and always asked them about their well-being before getting to business. Despite his efforts, he faces resistance. His team perceives him as moving too quickly and…
