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How to Approach Difficult Conversations When It’s Uncomfortable
Are you dreading a challenging conversation, particularly in a work setting? Do you fear that it might not go as planned? You’re certainly not alone; many of us share this apprehension. Based on the experiences of my clients, here are some common reasons for avoiding difficult conversations: Consider the skill of difficult conversation as a learning process akin to learning how to play the piano. Just as a beginner can’t effortlessly play an entire song, you may not handle difficult conversations smoothly initially. However, with preparation and discipline, you can gradually navigate these conversations, even if the experience isn’t always seamless. As you continue to prepare and apply your learning…
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Want to Take Your Career to the Next Level? Manage Your Attention Wisely
“I don’t have the time to pause and think; my days are filled with back-to-back meetings. When someone asks me a question, I tell them what I know and go to my next meeting. I feel like I am fire-fighting”. Adrian, a senior director of a Fortune 100 company, told me this during our recent conversation. He is not alone. If you are even moderately successful, back-to-back meetings are a reality of your life. The more damaging part is that this constant demand for our attention reduces our ability to deep thinking. As a result, we end up exhausted, creating the same old results we did the last year. There…
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You were given Feedback to Improve your Executive Presence – What do you do now?
The other day, a senior leader contacted me to hire me as his coach. His LinkedIn Profile was immaculate – multiple graduate degrees from top-notch schools and a strong track record of professional work in his relevant field. He was given feedback to improve his Executive Presence (EP). However, he didn’t know what that actually meant. After further conversation, we discovered that during meetings with senior leadership, his challenge was thinking on his feet and being clear and concise in his delivery. Here is an example from another client; let us call him Joe. Joe was doing a presentation on the next direction of their product. Towards the middle, his…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a long-tenured senior officer at a commercial bank. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others both at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers as she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (her adult siblings) and colleagues were also pretty strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense…
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Idea Dating: Tap Your Network for Clearer Insights
During a recent coaching session, my client Francis had an eye-opening moment. Despite consistently positive performance reviews, he no longer found satisfaction in his current role. When I asked what he wanted, he sighed and said he didn’t know exactly. However, he did have a clear image in mind: It entitled a broader scope, involving strategy and collaboration with a close-knit small group of passionate people. He thought he should look for job openings in small companies and interview. But the prospect didn’t encourage him at all. Shifting gears, I inquired about his past experiences with making changes. He mentioned that friends and former colleagues had been instrumental in sparking…
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Sustainable Success: The Multifaceted Journey Beyond Social Media Posts
It is the season of job promotions. I’ve been getting several such news through LinkedIn posts from my clients. However, these celebratory posts only scratch the surface of their entire journey. When we see things only from the outside through a social media post, we sometimes fail to grasp the totality of the story. We might even feel a little green with envy or bummed out because we’re comparing our everyday grind to someone else’s highlight reel. We just hit “Like” or write “Congratulations” and move on with our day. As their coach, when I see those announcements, I’m transported back to their journey’s inception, reflecting on the intentional efforts,…
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Nick’s Path to Emotionally Intelligent Leadership
Meet Nick, a talented young professional in his mid-thirties who holds a managerial position in a corporate. One challenging aspect of his job is that his team members, older than him in age and tenure, often question his decisions. Nick felt that they undermine his authority. His manager has pointed out that Nick could improve his assertiveness. During a recent meeting, his team expressed disappointment and anxiety regarding a top-level leadership decision that felt punitive. In his futile attempt to justify the decision, the situation only worsened, leaving Nick feeling defeated and frustrated. Seeking guidance on handling such delicate situations, Nick brought this topic to our session. He felt that…
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Career satisfaction, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, productivity, Stress Management, Success Strategy
Organization Politics – How We See It Can Change the Meaning
“I like doing my job, but I hate politics. Almost everyone says that they hate politics. If no one likes it, then who creates it in the first place”? My friend Barb uttered this with a big sigh as she and I met over coffee on a sunny spring afternoon. We commonly use the term “politics” to describe people’s actions to advance their self-interest at the cost of their coworkers’ interests. It is a win-lose game driven by the intention of gaining something for a selfish purpose. As someone who spent 20+ years inside organizations and then coaching organization leaders, I get curious about this. Barb’s comment made me ponder…
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Be Like a Lion: Enhance Leadership Through Pauses and White Spaces
Carol, a Vice President at a communication company, wanted to up her leadership presence. But she didn’t know how to create that learning space as she felt overwhelmed by her busy schedule. I suggested she try something on a small scale as an experiment. She decided she would try a meeting-free travel day that week. To her surprise, Carol found that it was perfectly acceptable to reschedule some meetings that fell during her travel days. She thought she had to be constantly available, like her mentors and bosses modeled for her. After the first experiment, she found other opportunities to create meeting-free white space in her schedule. This change made…
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Redefine Success Through Embracing Imperfection and Cultivating Resilience
The other day, I had a conversation with a woman grappling with her career satisfaction. Despite her impressive credentials, which included a Ph.D. and valuable job experiences, she was not fulfilled. As she inquired about my own career transition, I shared an article I had written. To my surprise, she responded, “You were just lucky to be in the right place at the right time!” Her interpretation couldn’t be further from the truth. But it made me realize how often we perceive others’ lives as easier than our own. One of the reasons could be the prevailing culture of constant showcasing of our accomplishments and accolades, fearing that acknowledging our…
