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Feeling Stuck and Unmotivated? Invest in Your Emotional Vitality First
Feeling stuck and unmotivated in your job? Not getting enough recognition or the upward mobility you deserve? Getting feedback that you are not doing enough? A software engineer in the mid-level in her career, let’s call her Veronica, came to me with this recently. She sounded pretty frustrated and depleted. As we spoke further, I realized that she had been feeling this for a few years; the pandemic only made it worse. The current job was no longer serving her; she needed to move out. But the only reason for staying was her lack of energy to focus on a job search or interview preparation. It became a chicken and…
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Applying Software Engineering Concepts in Professional Growth
A client of mine has a Ph.D. in Computer Science and works on a cutting-edge research project for one of the top tech companies. He has been feeling overwhelmed with his task list, which keeps growing daily and has sophisticated interdependencies. I knew one way to reduce his “overwhelmed” state was to bring him to his strengths. I asked him to describe the tasks as a data structure (software developers store data in different data structures). It made him pause and think. I noticed his energy eventually shifted to a more focused state as he started talking about whether it should be a tree or something else. Finally, he said…
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A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution
Conflict is a common issue my clients face in their workplace. I found this talk, A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution by Diane Musho Hamilton, insightful to manage such situations. Here are my takeaways from it. Our primitive brain sees conflict as a threat. When the stake is high, we get stressed, the Amygdala hijacks the higher brain, our body gets ready for a fight, flight, or becomes frozen. Some of the usual body signals are elevated heartbeat, stiff neck, tight jaw, etc. In such a situation, pause the thinking brain (usually negative spiral of thoughts) and spend some time noticing the body sensation and be with it. Some mindful breathing,…
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Want To Be Productive? Start With Doing Nothing (Guest post)
“I am busy all day, trying to complete my to-do list before calling it a day. Yet, some things always remain undone, and, worse still, new things pop up. I go to bed tired, with the dissatisfaction that I couldn’t do what I set out to during the day.” These were Sami’s words as I listened to him in a quiet coffee shop. I am sure it rings a bell with many of you, especially those working at large corporates and juggling family and work. Charlie Chaplin’s 1936 movie “Modern Times” is all about Sami. And perhaps you, too. In this movie, the protagonist was working hard at an ever-accelerating…
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“Why Does It Bother Me?” Why We React So Much By Other’s Opinions
It was the Spring of 2011; I was volunteering as a treasurer for a non-profit organization. My motivation was to hone my accounting skills while expanding my network. It was going well for the most part, except for one small problem. One of the old members started giving me unsolicited advice on how to do my job. At first, I tried to ignore her, but eventually, it pushed me over the edge. Being relatively new to the team, I decided to talk to someone I trusted. Fortunately, this trusted member was a coach. She empathized with me that the other member wasn’t being respectful. Then she asked, “Why does it…
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What Gets in the Way of Guilt Free Self-Care?
“Finish your homework before you play “ – Our parents’ well-meaning advice worked well in our early days, but as adults, it is backfiring. These days, most of our work is a continuous process and is hardly completed on a given workday. We postpone all the play (self-care) until we finish the work. We mistakenly think that completing the work and the recognition will be enough to keep us going. But the truth is quite the opposite. Regular play (self-care) helps us be at our optimal condition; it builds the muscles for us to face the challenges of work and other areas of life. In the last year, I saw…
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Struggling with Time Management? Look into the Root Causes
Time management is one of the topmost challenges for almost every functional human being. When my clients come with this question, I tell them that time is a fixed resource. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make it unlimited. However, there are other ways to look into this challenge. We “hide” under the time question only to avoid addressing some other underlying issues. I ask: What would you achieve when you have better time-management? A typical answer: “I will be able to do everything I want to do and will be able to spend time with my family and for myself and do exercise …” and the list goes…
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Beat Your Zoom Fatigue With These Three Tips
A few weeks ago, I had a headache almost every time I was in a Zoom video call. This phenomenon has become a common issue these days as so many are working from home and meeting virtually. Hence we got a new word in our vocabulary, called Zoom fatigue. I have been using video communications tools since 2009, a long time before Zoom was born. It allowed me to meet and coach people and attend classes without spending energy and money traveling for work. The pandemic made it a necessity when we are to stay home and minimize travels and in-person interactions. Like any good thing, moderation is the key, even…
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Challenge Responding To Senior Leaders During Meetings? Quality Listening Is Key
Two Leaders, Similar Challenge Tory, a senior director was in charge of a critical customer-facing component of the business. During big meetings, he had to answer the senior leaders about ongoing customer issues. When in the middle of an escalation, it is very tricky keeping the senior leaders satisfied on top of coordinating with the engineers and anxious customers. Tory was not alone. Many engineering leaders have such challenges. To make the problem worse, they often receive blanket feedback to improve their executive presence. Tory didn’t know what to do with such feedback. Another director-level leader, Tushar, also had a hard time thinking on his feet during such meetings. Tushar…
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How is Your Emotional Tire Pressure?
“I am just busy,” “I could use a nap,” “I am so tired.” Does any of these sound familiar to you? If yes, you belong to a very large group of working professionals who keep going every day despite all such feelings – it is like driving your car with low tire pressure. A 2017 article from Occupational Health and Safety said, 43% of Americans are too tired to function well at work. If it included the knowledge workers, it would have been much higher. And all these were before 2020. This year – the pandemic, the election, the social unrest, the forest fire, the blurred work-life boundary – we…
