Confidence Is Not the Absence of Doubt

Carol, a senior leader in healthcare, recently transitioned from HR to strategy. She felt out of her depth. In leadership meetings, she hesitated to share her opinions, lacking the confidence she once had after 30 years in HR.

Similarly, Steve, a veteran financial executive, had just stepped into a new role. Playing it safe, he stayed agreeable and held back. But over time, his frustration grew as he struggled to gain support for his initiatives.

It’s true that decades of experience can bolster confidence, but we don’t always have the luxury of time. The good news? Confidence isn’t solely built on tenure. It’s about finding the conviction to move forward despite uncertainty.

Many believe confidence means being free of doubt. But in reality,

Confidence isn’t about being 100% sure all the time—it’s about trusting yourself and others enough to act, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.

Confidence Comes from Joy, Conviction, and Trust—Not Certainty

Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt or uncertainty; it’s the presence of joy, conviction, and trust. Finding alignment with the purpose gives you enough joy and conviction to navigate the uncertainties.

For instance, if you’re preparing to speak in front of an audience, you’ll likely face many unknowns. But if the joy of connecting with people outweighs your fear, you’ll manage the discomfort.

At the beginning of my coaching career, I used to dread when I was invited to speak. So when a former colleague asked me to speak at Microsoft’s Asian employees group, I was terrified. What if they find it boring? Eventually, I reframed the situation: How exciting would it be to connect with people facing similar challenges? That shift in mindset inspired me to craft an interactive presentation that felt more like a conversation than a speech. Since then, I’ve approached every speaking opportunity as a conversation, focusing on connection rather than perfection. This shift has brought enough excitement to overcome my anxieties.

The Downside of Too Much Confidence

If you feel 100% confident, you’re likely solving problems you’ve already mastered—which means you’re not growing. In today’s fast-changing workplace, that could leave you stagnant.

On the flip side, failing to acknowledge uncertainty can signal recklessness or arrogance. We’ve all encountered people who charge ahead without considering potential challenges.

Carol and Steve’s Shift

Carol loved hiking. Using a hiking metaphor, I helped her realize that when she encounters an obstacle on a trail, she doesn’t stop because she hasn’t climbed a big mountain before. She focuses on how to navigate the immediate challenge, whether crossing a stream or climbing a steep rock. She seeks help from her hiking buddy or finds a creative way forward. This realization gave her renewed energy to engage in leadership discussions and activities.

Steve recognized that playing it safe and deferring to others wasn’t serving him. He decided to tap into his boldness, actively influencing the teams whose support he needed.

A Practical Approach to Improving Confidence

• Find the joy – Identify what excites you about your new challenge. You may also call it conviction.
• Acknowledge the gaps – Pinpoint where you need to prepare better.
• Seek support – Look for resources and people who can help bridge those gaps.
• Start small – If the challenge feels overwhelming, tackle a similar but smaller one first to build familiarity.
• Learn and adapt – Use each experience to close the confidence gap and keep growing.
• Give yourself permission to be imperfect – Ask yourself: What fear is holding me back? Share it with trusted peers for perspective.

Confidence Is a Constant Balancing Act

Confidence isn’t about eliminating doubt—it’s about embracing uncertainty with just enough belief to take the next step. In this 2016 interview (timestamp: 11:25-12:45), acclaimed actor Wentworth Miller offers a profound perspective on confidence. For him, it’s an ongoing, delicate balance between confidence and vulnerability, openness and guardedness. He highlights the importance of regularly checking in with himself, acknowledging his emotions without judgment. By embracing this self-awareness and acceptance, he is able to show up as his best self.

And that, at its core, is what it means to be human!

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Feature photo is by King Lip on Unsplash