Unlocking Leadership Through Inner Alignment: Rebecca’s Coaching Journey

Rebecca, a 45-year-old senior leader at a manufacturing company, recently received some familiar-sounding feedback from her boss: “You need to delegate more and think more strategically.”

It’s the kind of advice that sounds reasonable—but when your team is stretched thin, attrition is rising, and leadership pressure keeps piling on, it doesn’t feel empowering. It feels like just one more demand.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As a leadership coach, I hear this story often. And here’s what I’ve learned: feedback like this is just the tip of the iceberg. My work doesn’t begin with delegation strategies—it begins with understanding what’s beneath the surface. What’s happening in a leader’s internal world when they’re under pressure?

From Responsibility to Overload

In Rebecca’s case, our coaching conversations revealed something deeper. Responsibility wasn’t just a leadership quality for her—it was a part of her identity. As the eldest child, she had stepped into a caregiving role early in life. She carried the belief: “I need to make sure everyone is okay.”

When I asked her, “How’s that going for you?” she quickly replied, “Fine.” But I noticed her kind face tighten slightly.

I paused—and asked again.

She looked down, then exhaled. “I’m tired,” she admitted. “My mind spirals all day. By the time I finish dinner, I collapse in front of the TV and don’t even know what I’m watching.”

Rebecca was in autopilot mode. Her overdeveloped sense of responsibility—once a strength—was now costing her peace, creativity, and strategic thinking. Her calendar was full. So was her mind.

We started small. A few mindful breaths during our session gave her a glimpse of something she hadn’t felt in a while: mental space. In that moment of quiet, she noticed the part of herself that had been running the show—and realized it might be time to invite other parts forward.

She began reconnecting with the side of her that craved rest, reflection, and creativity.

Understanding the Inner Operating System

To understand what Rebecca was experiencing, let’s turn to a powerful framework introduced by Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP—a veteran clinician, educator, and trauma specialist who helps people create lasting change by understanding their internal systems.

In her upcoming book, Align Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work, Frank reminds us: the mind isn’t a single voice—it’s a team of parts.

Some parts are productive—they help us lead, execute, and succeed. Other parts are protective—they may push us to avoid discomfort through overworking, procrastinating, or zoning out. These parts aren’t trying to sabotage us—they’re trying to help.

The goal isn’t to silence or eliminate these voices. It’s to bring them into alignment. Just because a part has been loud for 20+ years doesn’t mean it’s still the best one to lead. We can ask: “Is this part still serving me?” If not, we can listen, thank it, and make space for parts that are more aligned with who we are today.

Frank offers a memorable analogy: your teeth and your kidneys are both essential—but you don’t treat them the same way. Likewise, different parts of our inner system serve different functions and require different kinds of attention.

Self-Awareness is the Foundation of Executive Coaching

Leadership isn’t just about business strategy—it starts with self-awareness.

Executive coaching is a highly personalized partnership that helps senior leaders improve their effectiveness, navigate complexity, and unlock transformational change—both in themselves and their organizations.

Through coaching, leaders like Rebecca gain deeper insight into what drives their behavior and where they may be stuck. They begin to shift from reaction to reflection. They begin to lead not just from competence, but from alignment.

Three Steps to Align Your Mind

Britt Frank outlines a practical, three-step process for working with your inner system—one that resonates strongly with the coaching journey:

1. Regulate
Before you can think clearly, you need to calm your nervous system. You can’t access reflection or problem-solving when you’re in fight, flight, or freeze. For Rebecca, mindful breathing helped her reconnect with the present and create space to explore what was really going on.

2. Excavate
Next, get curious. What’s behind the behavior? Emotions like avoidance or overwhelm are signals—like inflammation, they point to something deeper. Rebecca discovered that her hyper-responsible part was crowding out everything else, leaving no room for strategic focus or rest.

3. Activate
Insight is powerful—but action makes it stick. Frank calls this taking “micro-yeses.” Instead of setting massive goals, start with one tiny step. For Rebecca, this meant enjoying five quiet minutes with her morning coffee before opening her inbox—and keeping her knitting supplies by the couch, a reminder that rest and creativity matter too.

Decoding the Inner Critic

One common obstacle for leaders is the inner critic. It often sounds harsh, but underneath that voice is usually a scared or protective part trying to keep us safe. Instead of silencing it, we can decode its message: What is it afraid of? What does it need?

By understanding—not battling—our inner critic, we create space for wiser, more intentional leadership.

Small Shifts, Big Impact

Rebecca’s story is still unfolding. But her email to me after our session said it all: something real had shifted.

“Your insights and thoughtful guidance were incredibly valuable, and I especially appreciated how you helped me connect the dots. It gave me clarity on why I’ve been stuck in old patterns. Your suggestion to carve out time for myself truly resonated—it’s already helping me clear my mind and approach strategic planning with greater focus and ease.”

She had taken a micro-step—and in doing so, made a meaningful leap toward leading from a more aligned, empowered place. This is just the beginning of her leadership transformation!

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If you’re a leader ready to step into executive-level impact, let’s talk. Coaching might be the next small step that sparks your big leap.

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Source: Podcast: Align Your Mind (start from 22nd minute) Book: Align Your Mind by Britt Frank

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