My Career Shift from Coding to Coaching: A Quest for Joy and Purpose

How often does a dream come true?

For me, it did when both my husband and I received job offers from Microsoft – The Mecca for tech professionals at that time. On November 28, 2000, we moved to Seattle from Austin, Texas. It felt like I had finally boarded the right train—life on track, career on point—or so I thought.

But less than a decade later, everything shifted.

This week marks 16 years since I walked away from my role as a software engineering manager at Microsoft to pursue something completely unknown—the “people stuff”—coaching, connection, and deeper impact.

This milestone made me pause and reflect: How did I find the courage to make that leap? How did I navigate such a defining decision?

The Backstory

Coming to the U.S. alone as a graduate student from Bangladesh was a leap that’s hard to fully explain. I was denied a visa twice, accused of cheating on my TOEFL score—“How did you get such a high score?”—and questioned simply for being a single woman traveling abroad.

Even after a 24-hour journey, when I finally landed in Atlanta, I was pulled aside and interrogated again at the airport.

I wanted to turn around and go home. But that wasn’t an option. So I did what I’ve done many times since: I moved forward, even when it was hard.

Lesson 1: How we arrive matters just as much as where we arrive.

Growing Up at Microsoft

At Microsoft, I threw myself into work. I was driven, eager to prove myself. One manager even told me it’s okay to take one day off on the weekend! I got promoted, moved teams, and became a manager. In the meantime, I became a mom, too—another journey full of obstacles. But I didn’t take it easy on myself. A nurse once told me, “You’re going to be a mom. You deserve a break.” That idea felt completely foreign. I remember getting dizzy in a meeting and sitting on the floor while a kind coworker supported me.

Lesson 2: High achievers are often unkind to themselves. We confuse endurance with resilience.

As a manager, something shifted. My team and colleagues consulted me for the tough people stuff—the conflicts, the sensitive conversations. They told me that I was very good at solving people’s issues. It was very fulfilling, while the technical work didn’t satisfy me as much. I began connecting the dots: maybe I had a gift. Maybe this wasn’t just “common sense.”

Lesson 3: Others often spot our strengths before we do. Pay attention to what they reflect back.

But the bigger question lingered: What happens when your job no longer feeds your soul?

I had two degrees in computer science, I was in a booming field, and I was supposed to be grateful. So, like many people do, I stayed busy—at work, with volunteering. But the questions kept me up at night:

“I have only one life. Shouldn’t it mean more than this?”

Lesson 4: You can push away discomfort, but you can’t outrun it.

Finding the Career I Didn’t Know Existed

Eventually, I accepted that something had to change. I gave myself a new assignment—not to escape, but to discover what I was moving toward. I didn’t even know coaching was a profession. I researched HR and business paths, but nothing clicked.

Then I found an article about someone who left tech to become a coach. For the first time, I felt a spark of possibility.

But fear crept in. How could I walk away from a six-figure salary? It was early 2009, the middle of a financial crisis, and well-meaning friends warned me not to make a move.

Eventually, I realized I couldn’t avoid the question forever. I had to face it.

Lesson 5: Staying stuck in “should I do it?” drains you. Asking “how could I make it work?” creates momentum.

At a leadership conference at Microsoft, one speaker said something that shifted everything for me:
“Consider yourself rich when you have enough to pay the bills. Then, do whatever you want to do.”

I tested that idea. I went to the mall and gave myself permission to buy whatever I wanted. But within less than two hours, I realized I was feeling empty. That was my answer. I didn’t need more stuff. I needed meaningful work.

Lesson 6: If the problem feels too big, shrink it. Run a small experiment. The answer might surprise you.

Walking Away from a “Dream”

Once I knew what I wanted and how we could manage our finances, I told my manager. She and my other colleagues, though shocked, were deeply supportive.

My extended family couldn’t believe I was leaving what they saw as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I felt the weight of their judgment. Handing in my blue badge in a windowless basement office felt like career suicide. I walked out alone. Microsoft had been a big part of my identity.

Lesson 7: Big choices are uncomfortable. But avoiding discomfort can cost more than facing it.

Becoming Who I Was Meant to Be

The years that followed weren’t easy. I stumbled. I doubted. I looked back more than once. But every challenge stretched me. Every low helped me become a better partner, friend, and coach.

Today, I sit with leaders around the world in honest, sacred conversations. I see them breathe a little deeper, let their guard down, and begin to shift. It’s like being a midwife to their growth—helping bring something new into the world.

Everything—my computer science degrees, my time at Microsoft, the struggles and successes—has shaped the person I am today.

This is the work I was meant to do. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.