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Working on Your Confidence? Watch Out Your Go-to Words and Root Cause
Confidence is a common topic my clients bring to coaching. Anyone working on it knows that confidence is not a simple binary thing. It shows up as a part of a complex set of behavior that stems from inside more than outside. Our word choices often can hinder how confident we appear. “Think” is one such word that got my attention lately. The ability to think – about complex problems, gives us an edge as knowledge workers. Ironically overuse of the word may not serve as much. This tendency is common among women and people who are more analytical. One of my clients, let’s call her Tatyana, is working on…
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Leading in the Era of AI
How far are we from machines replacing humans? While much of the corporate research and development of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is happening under Non-Disclosure Agreements, a recent demonstration of a personal assistant by Google CEO Sundar Pichai illustrated how advanced their AI research is . Similar research by Microsoft and a plethora of other technology companies, suggests that the impact on humans and our work will be profound. AI is developing as a powerful driver for good; in the field of medicine, for instance, it is already accelerating the development of cures for diseases. At the same time, AI releases human potential for higher-level jobs as robots are already replacing…
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The Essential Qualities of Leadership – Examples from My Grandmother and Other Situational Leaders
What are the most common traits among successful leaders? What process did they all go through? What’s the must-have quality of a successful leader? How my grandmother became a leader? Leadership training doesn’t make leaders. But still, such training programs are quite common in the corporate world. Perhaps this is how they ensure a continuous supply of loyal managers, in the same way as the British colonialist power introduced English in India to create a new class of clerks. Genghis Khan, Ho Chi Minh, Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, or my late grandmother, were all extremely successful leaders who crossed insurmountable barriers in leading those around them. They were successful in…
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The Myth Of A “Perfect Day”
There are not many days like this. Yesterday it seemed like an out of the ordinary perfect day for me. Client #1 made significant progress in an area he was stuck for more than a decade, Client #2 got that final word on the well-deserved promotion, Client #3, while finishing up her project said she wanted to work with me for another project. By the end of the day when I arrived at the dentist’s office for regular cleaning. I jokingly said, “I am having such a good day, hope it continues”. She didn’t disappoint. After the exams, she said, “all looks good, keep doing what you have been doing…
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Take The Fear Out Of Feedback Giving
Imagine your boss is saying, “I have some feedback for you” – notice what reaction you get. Very often it feels like a threat, as “We have a problem”! According to this article by David Rock of NeuroLeadership Institute (NLI), “Feedback conversations, as they exist today, activate this social threat response. In West and Thorson’s study, participants’ heart rates jumped as much as 50 percent during feedback conversations. (Equivalent spikes have been found during some of the most anxiety-producing tasks, such as public speaking.) In their self-assessments, participants reported feelings that mirror what just about everyone has experienced personally: nerves, uncertainty, and anxiety. All this physiological stress has the unfortunate…
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Why EQ Matters And How To Be Better At It
Do you often wonder why people behave negatively (rude, mean, unpredictable)? Do you often stress a lot? Do you want to improve professional and personal relationships? Do you want to increase your impact and influence? If you answered “yes” to any of these, you may want to invest in your EQ. Thanks to the thought leaders, Daniel Goleman, Travis Bradberry, Richard Boyatzis and many others, EQ, EI or “Emotional Intelligence” is a ubiquitous term in the leadership world. Goleman has this explainer video for the beginners. Despite all the resources, when it comes to applying it in a day to day life, we often feel lost. “I know I…
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Decisions, Decisions | How I planned and survived my family vacation
“How can we make good decisions when there is insufficient data”? During a seminar a few weeks back, I got this question from the audience. As someone giving the talk, I was supposed to be an “expert” on this! Alas, I could not act as the know-all expert; inspired by Brene Brown, I chose to be a human instead – showed them how sub-optimal my decision-making process is! I told them this story. My parents were visiting me; this was their first time in the US, so I wanted to show them some landmarks. On the same token, I thought that if my uncle and aunt from Michigan could join…
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The Pen is Luxurious Than the Keyboard
This year I have made a commitment – I will be more accountable to myself. I found a paper notebook is helping me in this regard. Every day/week I am jotting down what I want to focus on, what my intention is and how I am doing. A paper and pen is definitely not the state of the art personal productivity tool but surprisingly enough it is helping me to be more mindful about my time. I now have more clarity about where I am with respect to my bigger goals (also written/drawn on a paper). I wonder, what is the point on going back to a non-tech solution when I…
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The Power Of Yes – Leadership Lessons from My Car Dealership
I was in the waiting area of the dealership while my car was getting an oil change. Tony, one of the service reps saw me and asked if I had been helped. As I nodded positively, he seemed to recognize me and said, “You have the grey Forester, right? What brought you in today?”. I was pleasantly surprised that he remembered me from my last visit three months ago. In today’s data/AI driven world, Tony’s apparent simple human conversation felt like a rare treat! I have already been a happy customer for the past several years of this local dealership. As a coach helping leaders and teams harness their fuller potential,…
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How Coaching Can Increase Employee Engagement
I have worked within the high tech industry for over a decade and I have always wondered why a large number of the great hires end up disengaged, identified as below average performers so soon after hire! First as a manager and now as a coach, my observation is the raw potential the employees bring often gets underutilized because of the chaos in the workplace. Despite the relative maturity in the high tech industry we still depend on Darwin’s “Survival of the fittest” theory. I believe a coach can be a catalyst to increase the odds for each employee to be of the “fittest” species in the corporate jungle. Below are the stories of two…
