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What Simone Biles, Jacinda Ardern, and Naomi Osaka Taught Us
Simone Biles, Jacinda Ardern, and Naomi Osaka share a common trait – they all made a courageous decision to quit, to say “no” despite the societal pressure to keep pushing forward, even when at the peak of their careers. Jacinda Ardern stated, “I no longer have enough in the tank to do the job justice,” Simon Biles said she was not in the right mental place to continue, and Naomi Osaka declined to face the press, saying it was “damaging to the mental health.” It requires a different kind of courage to say “No” and stop, especially when the prevailing culture tells us otherwise. Many people struggle to give themselves…
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A Smile is a Leadership Tool
I recently had a coaching session with a tech leader who expressed a strong desire to enhance his approachability. While he was committed to delivering high-quality products, he was aware that his intense focus on quality sometimes came across as inflexible and intimidating. As a coach, I work with various personalities, and my approach is to identify the strengths of each individual. So I was not surprised that he appeared stiff in our call, and I had to avoid being influenced by it. But as the call progressed, I noticed a positive shift in his demeanor. He seemed more relaxed and even had a smile on his face. I shared…
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Goal Setting Is Not Just A New Year Thing
My January was quite busy with returning from vacation (an international trip) and giving back-to-back corporate workshops. So the schedule was a bit tight, but the process of designing and delivering those workshops has been very fulfilling and meaningful for me. As I reflected, it hit me that I envisioned something like this about 8-9 years ago, and that vision is a reality now! Even though I delivered many webinars and workshops over the years, that original vision is still a powerful reminder. But, very rarely, we think of a goal like that. Especially during the beginning of the year, goals and resolutions are hyper-focus for many of us. The…
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Why Self-Promotion is Hard, And What To Do About It?
Recently, a friend and I talked about something she was anxious about. Ultimately, she felt much more relaxed and confident and said, “Thank you, Sharmin, you are so good.” I replied, “Yes, I am; I love helping people be their best and thank you for noticing it.” If it were ten years ago, I would have said, “I didn’t do anything,” or some other self-diminishing version. Instead, it took me a lot of self-work to discover and own my strengths unapologetically. That’s why I get passionate when clients come to me with the challenge, “I am not good at self-promotion; it is against my upbringing, but I want to be…
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My Podcast Interview: Resilience Inside and Out
Earlier this month, a fellow leadership coach, Nina Simonds invited me to her podcast, Let’s Get Real. Nina started this series in 2020 because, as she wrote, “I love having REAL conversations with people who inspire me. In my 20+ years as a leadership and relationship coach, I experience the most flow when I am learning in a community with others. Let’s Get Real is a place where my guests and I explore personal experiences that have been catalysts for our own growth. We also explore and share some of the tools that help us see others more fully and give us the confidence to lead and love well.” In…
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Self-Promotion Doesn’t Have to Be Selfish
A couple of years ago, I ran a survey among tech professionals, and it came out that “Managing up/Self-promotion” was the top concern. I was not too surprised. Talking about ourselves seems opposite to humility – it contradicts our values, yet managing up is essential for reward and recognition. Over the years, I learned that it might feel more altruistic if we see it as helping our managers and others do their job better. When I became a manager for the first time at a large corporation, I got a new team from another division. Since it was close to the annual review time, their previous manager prepared their performance data for me to submit…
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Conversations To Foster Greater Understanding
Recently this post by an organizational psychologist at Wharton, Adam Grant, went viral on LinkedIn. He said: The clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn’t agreeing with someone. It’s enjoying your disagreements with them. Harmony is the pleasing arrangement of different tones, voices, or instruments, not the combination of identical sounds. Creative tension makes beautiful music. I commented there, which became most popular on that post (80+ likes and 20 comments). I would add, keeping the intention of understanding as the purpose, and not so much of agreement or disagreement. That way, it becomes less subjective. For example: instead of “I disagree,” one can say, “Can you give me an example where…
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From Jerk to Genuine: How These High Performers Built Trust With Their Teams
Result and efficiency-driven high-performing individuals often have a blindspot when relating to others. It can create unintended harm to team morale and trust. Others tolerate such “jerk” behavior as subject matter expertise, and “get things done” competencies are valued more. It is not that they don’t get any feedback to correct their behavior, but rather the opposite. They don’t get timely and precise feedback. People want to understand the feedback before they can act on it. And when they do, they commit to it and eventually become more impactful. “I have been receiving this feedback for so many years. However, this is the first time I can understand it.” This…
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Career satisfaction, Coaching, Personal Brand, productivity, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Time Management
A Workshop Emerged from the Themes of Coaching Tech Clients
After 12 years of coaching software engineers to VPs in the tech industry, I found this common theme: feeling fulfilled about our work and contribution is challenging. Managing a thriving relationship with the boss, peers, and other stakeholders is not easy. They would always want more from us; our passion would be interpreted as aggressiveness, our analytical thinking style would be seen as a lack of executive presence. And the list goes long. In addition, managing a family, kids, along full-time demanding work becomes a losing battle at times. No wonder 55% of the adult population feels Languishing, a lack of zest. As high-performing, high-achieving leaders and individual contributors, all of my…
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Entrepreneurial Spirit : Build The Product YOU
“All humans are entrepreneurs not because they should start companies but because the will to create is encoded in human DNA.” – Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn. If you are itching to create something and share it with the world, you must be thinking about the product and possible funding. While those are crucial, we often ignore that we need to work on ourselves, the mindset, learn, and improve how we operate – the product, YOU. To start, ask yourself these three questions – WHY, WHAT, and HOW. The Why Why do you want to do this? Some of the answers I heard before are: “Everyone else I know is…
