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From Chaos to Connection: Gracefully Managing the Holiday Family Gatherings
Managing family visits during the holiday season presents a delightful yet demanding task. Juggling multiple family members’ diverse opinions, needs, and desires can be an energy-draining experience for hosts and guests alike. Take, for example, my client Fernandez, who was planning to host his parents, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew for a ten-day holiday stay. Being a meticulous planner, he anticipated the potential chaos and asked for guidance in a session with me to prepare for the upcoming gathering. Later, he said that the preparation helped him stay composed and enhanced the enjoyment of the time spent together. If you are like Fernandez, you may adopt some of these strategies for…
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5 Misconceptions That Get In The Way Of Sustainable Success
Over the years, through my coaching work with tech leaders and executives, I’ve helped them uncover hidden misconceptions and limiting behaviors that often hold them back. Many of these leaders were already highly successful, yet by identifying and addressing these patterns, they found new ways to accelerate their growth more sustainably and more fulfilling. Recognizing these blind spots allowed them to approach challenges with greater clarity, adaptability, and confidence. Based on these experiences, I’ve summarized the five most common limiting patterns that, when overcome, can elevate leadership impact and personal fulfillment, i.e, success without burnout. Misconception 1: Starting with Others’ Expectations Many of us begin by focusing on what’s expected…
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Navigating the AI Disruption: Embracing Uncertainty and Leading with Agility
A middle schooler in Bangladesh has been using ChatGPT as a study aid. A senior leader at a top-tier organization in the U.S. has been investing in AI integration across his teams, revolutionizing their workflows. In my own work, AI has become an essential partner, transforming how I gather insights, streamline data, and create compelling narratives. As AI technology permeates every corner of our world, we’re all facing the challenge—and the opportunity—to navigate this uncharted terrain with clarity and purpose. Navigating the AI disruption is a complex problem where the causes and effects are unknown. AI has fundamentally transformed how we conduct business, leaving many of us in awe of…
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Strong Leaders Also Need Psychological Safety
Psychological safety has become a prevalent concept, encompassing the feeling of safety individuals experience when sharing their thoughts and feelings without risking their status. While this is often attributed to individuals with less power, such as social minorities or those lower in the hierarchy of power or privilege, it also applies to those at the other end of the spectrum. Those in power who are expected to be always strong often fear showing vulnerability, which can feel unsafe. A Hard Choice Between Authenticity and Strength For example, during recent layoffs at a Fortune 100 company, Teresa, a senior VP, felt exhausted and disheartened by the situation. Despite this, she believed…
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Facing Results vs. Relationships Tension? The Answer is to Integrate, Not Choose
Soren was recently promoted to a new leadership role, managing some of his former peers. One of them had also been a contender for the same position. Determined to excel, Soren committed to giving his best effort. He relied on his tried-and-true method of thorough preparation, getting straight to the point without wasting time, hoping to appear competent and in control. However, he quickly noticed that his team members were reluctant to engage, leaving him feeling disconnected and frustrated. This tension between achieving results and nurturing relationships is a common challenge for leaders. Many believe you can’t be kind if you hold people accountable for results. This false dichotomy often…
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Communication, Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Executive Presence, Happiness, Self-leadership, Stress Management, Work-life integration
Why the Advice to “Set Boundaries” is Hard to Follow—and What to Do Instead
“Set a boundary.”“Just say no.”“No is a complete sentence.” Every time I hear this well-meaning advice, I cringe. It sounds simple, but taken literally, it feels like I’m being told to be rude in order to protect myself. For someone who values kindness and relationships, this advice feels like a contradiction. How can I honor myself if it means dishonoring my values? I know many of us feel the same way. There are cultural and personal maturity factors at play, and a one-size-fits-all solution simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve developed a more authentic approach to setting healthy boundaries—one that allows me to respect my values while still taking care…
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Career satisfaction, Communication, Executive Presence, Happiness, Leadership, Personal Brand, Self-leadership
Is “Authenticity” Backfiring On You? Here Is Why
During a meeting, Prakash, a Vice President, expressed frustration with his team’s lack of progress. This cost him a promotion. Theresa, a senior developer at a tech firm, was encouraged to be authentic at work. Taking this to heart, she started to express her opinions passionately. However, her colleagues perceived her openness as naysaying, alienating her from the rest of the team. Jim, a product manager, felt alone because he advocated for what he believed was the right quality bar, while others stayed quiet, seemingly content with “mediocre” standards. What do these three stories have in common? Each individual believed they were being authentic by sharing their true thoughts and…
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Are You A Go-to Fixer For Your Team? You Are Not Helping.
Elizabeth was a director-level leader at a large tech company. She had a high sense of responsibility. Most of her time was spent fixing problems created by others at work and in her family, leaving no time for herself. Friends stopped inviting her to get-togethers because she said “no” many times. The irony is that despite helping others, her relationships with her family (adult siblings) and colleagues were also strained. Ben, a high-achieving retired physician in his early seventies, volunteered for a cause close to his heart. After a while, he realized that instead of fulfillment, he felt guilty and overwhelmed most of the time. The sense of “I am…
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What life stage are you in – Survival, Success or Significance?
Pastor Rick Warren said on The Oprah Show, “Everyone lives at one of three levels in life: Survival, Success, and Significance.” Survival—You live from week to week, looking forward to weekends, vacations, and, finally, retirement. In my words, this is life in “Autopilot mode.” Success – Your life is pretty full of eating out, driving a nice car, looking good, feeling good, and having goods. After being at this level for a while, as people grow, they start thinking – If I am so successful, why don’t I feel satisfied? Significance—You know your life matters. You know why you are alive and have a purpose to live a life of…
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Beyond Success: The Path to Significance
A few months ago, I met Megan, a high-achieving corporate leader in her early forties, happily married with two young kids. Despite her stellar success, she felt like she was on an endless treadmill with no clear direction. This is not uncommon among high-achievers like Megan. Throughout her life, she has always known her next goal and pursued it with determination and discipline. I shared the theory of life stages—Survival, Success, and Significance—with her. The Success stage is characterized by material wealth, comfort, and success. Most of us aim to achieve this stage and want to continue this pursuit. However, sometimes, we wonder why we don’t feel fulfilled. This lack…
